


Falling for a mischievous god (Loki fanfiction)

by ScorpyR



Series: Rising heart [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Avengers in Asgard, Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki - Freeform, Love, Magic, Rape, Sadness, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:08:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpyR/pseuds/ScorpyR
Summary: My dark past haunted me all my life and I couldn't be free from it. Until I met a god. Loki was lost and full with rage when I met him. He wanted his vengeance to be felt and he used Earth to do just that. But what he didn't expect was someone to change his dark heart into a forgiving and a loving one. Could it be love? Could be destiny putting together two different beings to finally become one? Could in endure everything that was against them?*x*x*x*x*x*x*PS: This is a Loki alternative love story. I tried to place it between the Marvel movies and changed a few things to make it suitable for the story. This work has some personal things written all over it. Things I've experienced and writing them to help me cope with it. Please, let me know what you think about this fiction. Also, English is not my native language. So there should be errors all over it. I'm sorry about that. And I hope you like it.Also, I don't own any of the characters from MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe).**** PPS: I'll finish the part II of this story next year. Keep tuned. I'll update you through this story.





	1. Chapter 1

_I was already out of breath, sweaty and fainting. But I knew very well that if I failed I would be doomed, so I ran with all the strength I didn’t even know I had, while I felt the tears falling down my face. As I walked through what seemed to me to be an abandoned old tunnel that was once used for mining exploration, my hearing was completely muffled, I felt myself running in slow motion as my heart beat faster than I have ever felt. I no longer felt capable of shouting for help, because I had screamed everything before I ran away._

_Whenever I could, between breathlessness, I would look back and see him running after me shouting the name he had invented for me. “Marzia, stop! Come back, I forgive you! I won't hurt you ... much!”_

_Hearing that voice caused me so many shivers in the spine but I was more relieved when I began to see the light of the exit. In so many months, I have never felt so much hope as at that moment, seeing the light of day. The idea of feeling the heat of the sun's rays in my face, the fluttering of my hair in the light breeze, the refreshing scent of nature, the calm and warmth of my family ... My God, I even miss the rush of the day, the smell of gasoline burned in the morning when I rode the car to go to work ... Everything filled my heart with hope, but that same light ceased thanks to the disgusting figure that stagnated before me. My heart sped inside my chest as if it wanted to get out of my mouth, tears flowing as I pleaded for help with the weak voice from the hand that tightened my neck._

_“Where did you want to go without me? Don’t you know you're mine now? Why did you disrespect me? Knowing that what I feel for you is unique? Nobody likes you like me, nor family, nor friends, nobody !!! That's why you're mine!”_

_As I tried to free myself from the suffocating hands around my neck and lean against the wall, I felt the other disgusting hand unstrap his belt and then his pants ... I then began to faint, while the same hand that had just lowered my pants began to lift the dress, the only piece of cloth in contact with my skin. His touch gave the burning sensation at each point of contact, leaving a flaming trail as he slowly climbed up the middle of my legs finally reaching my sore pussy …_

At that moment I jumped up in bed, breathless, as I wiped my eyes and wiped my tear-filled face. "It was just another nightmare Cat ... It's gone" I thought to myself. I went back to bed and looked at the clock and it was 4:00 AM. The rest of the night was accompanied by insomnia, tears and silent sobbing muffled by the pillow until the tiredness overcame me...

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock, which played Linkin Park's song "Sharp Edges." Music that always helped me to start the day better. I like to play piano and guitar, so that was one of the songs I would often play and sing. 

Instead of getting up, I decided to put on my headphones and listen to that song and let my mind drift by every chord, every note of the singer's wonderful voice and I slowly fell into a peaceful sleep.  
_I felt the damp summer breeze running through my face and the grass touching lightly on my feet as I sat on a rock, with a guitar in my lap, playing and singing this song. A feeling of peace and happiness passed electrically every millimeter of my body, a feeling I hardly know ... It was then that I felt a cold hand putting my hair behind my ear and I felt a kiss on the face and a male whisper: “That angel voice of yours... Always put a smile on my face…”_

Without recognizing the voice, I felt a smile forming in my face. When I finally turned to see who the man was I was awakened by my mother “You fell asleep! You're late, get up!”

I looked at the clock: 9 AM. “Shit!”

I jumped out of bed and quickly got ready to go to work. But that feeling of peace I felt in the dream, that kiss on the face, that voice, chased me all day. I often found myself daydreaming about all this and asked myself who was that man that warmed my heart.

The work day passed quickly. I work as an innovation consultant in a small business. It's not the job I've always dreamed of, nor do I have a fantastic salary, but since I'm living in my parents' house, it's ok.

The next step was the gym, got dressed for practice and I went to the mirror to tie my hair in a ponytail. "I hate ponytails," I thought to myself. And I stared at myself in the mirror as I combed my hair. My body is slender, about 1.60 meters tall and 59kg. I was happy with my body, but the gym was always a way to get my head out of dark thoughts of my life. There was always one man or another in the gym trying to get closer to me. It was not that they were not interesting or attractive, none of that. I've just never been attracted to any of them and the only man who touched me ... well ... let's just say that I still suffer from the trauma today.

I got home tired. I dined, dressed in a simple dark green dress, some flip-flops and went to the terrace of the house to see the stars. Lying on a blanket on the cement floor, my head resting on the air mattress, I was always amazed by the sky filled with stars. _How many lives are out there? Do they know us? Do they observe us?_

Nature is really terrifying and wonderful. And this was something that always calmed me down. _"So many stars, an infinite universe full of secrets ... My problems, my life, none of this interferes with the natural order of things. I am a sand in the middle of the desert, my problems are insignificant for the universe. It's better to enjoy life while I have it. "_ I thought every night when I looked to the stars.

I felt myself slowly falling asleep, but I knew I shouldn’t do it in the open. But the calm transmitted from the sky overcame me and in a moment I fell asleep. But it didn’t last long. I began to feel some discomfort in my back and I found it odd, the air mattress is usually comfortable.

When I opened my eyes I didn’t recognize where I was. It was dark and I tried to analyze what was around me without panic. I quickly realized I was in the middle of the woods as I saw my house nearby. _Was it somnambulism?_ As I tried to process the information, something caught my eye ... In the middle of the leaves and the branches, something bright and blue was calling for me, begging me to take a closer look. Mesmerized, I knelt down and began to divert the leaves and branches. And that's when I opened my dazzled mouth ... A fully lit cube.

I felt completely sucked by the strange object as my hand automatically grasped it. As soon as my skin came into contact with the glazed surface of the object I felt an explosion of blue light and was projected back. It wasn’t enough to hurt me and I quickly got up, confused by what was happening. When I looked toward the cube, there was nothing there.

“I'm going crazy". I said aloud and I laughed to myself. I looked at my hands and it seemed to me that the same blue light I had seen on the object was fading into the palm of my hand. _Strange ... I definitely need to sleep._

I started to walk home, barefoot on the tree-limb floor that crippled my feet at every step, but behind me, I begin to hear slow steps and without thinking twice I looked back and start running ... I saw a silhouette of a tall man walking towards me.

That figure brought me memories of the past and as I ran home, I felt the tears begin to fall down my face. I ran with all the strength I had, as I had run years ago when I also ran away from something terrifying. I quickly got home, got in, locked everything, and watched the place where I saw the man and the strange object, but there was nothing there.

Confused, I tried to convince myself that it was all my imagination and I remembered the words of my psychiatrist: _“Everything gets worse before it gets better. It's scary, but have patience, your head will heal.”_

So I lay down on my pillow and sleep came to me, embracing me with strange but pleasant dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with the bell ringing and some people talking. I heard my mother startled talking with those people and asking them what they wanted. I got up quickly, feeling slightly strange, dressed my training pants, a bra and a tight black top, combed my hair with my fingers to be minimally presentable and left the room in a matter of seconds.

I froze at the hallway door when I saw three men in black, two with guns around their waist and one was wearing an aviator sunglasses. The memories of the night before raced through my brain at an unusual speed and I could bet my ass out that they were there because of that.

“Miss? You need to come with us. We believe you're in danger, that you're the target of a very dangerous…” he pauses “person.”

My mother as worried and afraid, asking what was going on. And the man again spoke in my direction, ignoring her: “Can you understand me?” I nodded yes. “My name is Phill Coulson. I'm an agent of SHIELD. “  
“Never heard of it.” I said with some unease in my voice  
“Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistics Division. SHIELD. We're a secret organization, a special kind of law-enforcement” he said.  
“Like FBI, CIA...?” I asked and he smiled tenderly.  
“Compared to us, those are just a bunch of kids playing war, using expensive toys, but... yeah...something like that.”  
“I have never heard of SHIELD before.” I said, still suspicious.

Agent Coulson smiled even more: “Well, that's the point. That means that we're doing a really good job. But you'll have lots of time to get to know us, but right now, you need to come with us. You're really in danger and we don't want you to get hurt.”  
“What is happening?” I asked him, frighten.  
“It's complicated.” He states  
“Enlighten me then.” I told him impatiently.  
“Let's not play this game anymore. You know what is happening. You must at least suspect that is related to something out of the ordinary that you have accidentally found. “ He becomes serious.

I widen my eyes as the thought of last night's events. I was damn right. They were there because of it. Agent Phill Coulson smiled at me and finally said with a more kind tone.  
“I see you do. Now... you know there is something wrong, don't you? “ I nodded Yes and he proceeded talking. “Good. We wanna help you. But you have to come. Peacefully.”  
“But I have a job. I have my life! I just can leave like this. What about my family? Look at my mom, you are fighting her! If I am in danger as you said, how can I leave my family? Aren't they in danger too?--” I shout, being interrupted by agent Coulson  
“ -- I assure you. No harm will come to your family. We already have guards hidden, watching over your house and your relatives. Besides, the person that wants to get to you, only have interest in you, not them... And about your job, we already dealt with that. Now, get your stuff, your clothes, whatever you want and let's get out of here as soon as possible. “  
“What you mean you dealt with my job? What have you done?” I asked with a little anger in the tone.

As he prepared to respond, we were interrupted by a man speaking through Agent Coulson's Walkie-Talkie:  
_"Why are you taking so long? Get your asses moving, we got work to do!"_

Agent Coulson looked at me and I understood what he wanted me to do, so I went back to my room and started packing as I listened him trying to talk Portuguese with my mother and explaining to her that there was no need to worry. "Yeah, right... No worries" I said sarcastically as if I was talking to someone else in the room. I quickly got out with a backpack with some clothes and personal objects and headed to the entry door. I kissed my mother told her: “I’m going to be ok, mother. They are with the government and they’re trying to protect me.”

I smiled at her, kissed her forehead and left with them. They took me in a black car, with black windows and I watched through the back glass as I saw my home staying behind. I didn't know where I was being taken and I started to be scared, heart racing and heavy breathing, sweat forming in my forehead and my vision started to blur as I felt myself drifting away into a peaceful sleep.

I don’t know I long I was asleep but I started to open my eyes as I felt agent Coulson trying to wake me up. As I opened my eyes I saw those clear blue eyes of agent Coulson digging into mine and a lightly smile in his lips.

“Are you ok, miss?” I head agent Coulson ask with a strange concern in his voice.  
“Cat…” I said quietly as I got back to normal.  
“What?” He asks confused.  
“Cat. My name is Catarina, but you can call me Cat, not Miss.” I said still a little dizzy.  
“Ok, Cat... Are you ok?” he asks again, still a concerned tone in his voice.  
“I don't know... What is happening to me, Agent Coulson? What happened last night?” I asked with a weak and low voice.  
“Phill... Call me Phill... We don't know... And that's what we need to find out. We need your help to -- AH we're here! I'll be right back” He said as he opened the door and stretched his hand to help me get out of the car.

My eyes started to evaluate everything around me, trying to understand where I was. My eyes widened as I saw a huge black plane in a sort of military base. I was mesmerized with everything I was watching and soon was interrupted by Phill and a huge black man with an eye patch.

“This is Nick Fury, director of SHIELD. And those are the Avengers“ he pointed out a group of people with two men and a redhead woman that was approaching us. “This is Natasha, Dr. Banner, and Tony... and that's Hawkeye” he points to the top of the building to a man sitting in the edge of a stairway, like he's on guard. “This is Cat... And that…”

I felt like a huge noise behind me, like a loud thunder and strong wind which faded away quickly. As I turned my head I saw a big, blonde, muscle, beautiful man with a red cape and a huge hammer in his hand. He was walking toward me ignoring people saying hi to him and Phill finishes proudly:- ... That is Thor, God of... - Thor interrupted his sentence. “I am Thor, God of Thunder, the future king of Asgard and protector of the nine realms. I believe you, m'lady, encountered one of the powerful jewels of the universe, that exists since the beginning of everything. It is composed of great power, great knowledge and was not supposed to be on Midgard or so-called Earth.“ He stepped closer to me and I had to look up to meet his intense gaze due to his high size “so, tell me, where is it?”

I feel the muscles of my body tensing up, a heat in my skin like I was about to explode, but I said everything that happened calmly: “I don't know... I'm confused, I don't know what happened... “

I explained to them everything, including the man I saw in the woods. As I told about the man and described his silhouette, Thor looked worried to the Avengers and asked: “Did he said anything to you?”

I nodded no. And like an angry whisper, Thor asked me: “So tell me... In god's sake, who are you? And do not attempt to lie. For what you told us, you took the Tesseract in your own hands... No Human could do that... Only beings with power, celestial beings, gods, can wield the stones. And that's why my brother is looking for you... Now, tell me, who are you?”

As soon as he finished his words I started to feel dizzy and everything started to be foggy. The last thing I remember before hit the solid ground was Thor trying to catch me and call my name and then...  
... then there were nightmares.


	3. Chapter 3

I started to wake up and slowly opening my eyes. “Good, you're finally awake. You scared us for a moment” a red-haired woman said. looked at her and realized that was Natasha.  
“Yeah... I thought I might need a little nap.” I smiled while I tried to sit up. As I tried to do this, I felt this pain burning in my head and put my hand in the source of pain.  
“You hit the ground quite hard... This pain will take a few days to pass. The doctors had to glue a small wound to your forehead. I will call them, they will give you something to the pain.” she said as she left the room  
“Thank you... “ I said weakly.

After the doctor came and did everything he needed, Natasha came back and sat down beside my bed. “Now... Can you talk?” I nodded yes. 

She explained everything about SHIELD, about the Avengers, about each member and their purpose, about Thor and about the man I saw... Loki, brother of Thor and God of Mischief. I was bewildered as she told me everything. Everything that we believe, it's a lie. All the legends and myths are true and they hide it from us. But her last words echoed in my head. Loki… I thought I might have heard about him in the news. Something about an attack in Europe by and strange being and something about being arrested by the police. She was explaining to me that they had arrested him but he managed to escape and now he was looking for the Tesseract to achieve his goals. When I was telling her about what happened that night with Loki’s encounter we were interrupted by someone talking in her earpiece which made her tender look fade away, giving way to a dark, serious look in my direction. She got up and said that I needed to get up and that we were having a meeting.  
They gave me my own bedroom and I quickly changed the hospital clothes to a light green dress and I headed to the meeting room that the guards indicated.

As I walked through a long corridor I heard heavy footsteps and saw a bunch of armed agents escorting a man. The man was looking to a window into some kind of lab with a smirk on his face. I understood that man was dangerous so I clung to the wall for them to pass, not wanting to disturb them. 

That's when my heart skipped a beat. He was tall, pale, dark long hair combed to the back of his head and... shiny green eyes... those eyes were penetrating. He slowed down his pace as he looked at me confused eyes but he quickly changed his face into a grin. My heart raced as he was passing right in front of me and the guards pushed him to walk faster. As they vanished through an automatic door I stayed like a minute staring to the wall as I had the feeling that I have met that man before... And no, I’m not talking about that night when I met him in the woods.

As soon as I entered the meeting room I saw the Avengers around a table: Steve Rogers (well known as Captain America), Natasha, Tony Stark, Thor, Dr. Banner and I heard Tony saying: “Finally, I started to think that you ran away. There is not much to flee unless you have wings, but glad you did not try your luck.”

I looked at him confused and I heard a woman responding to him: “Could you be quiet Tony? And a little nicer. This is new to the girl, just leave her alone” she turns to me “I'm Maria Hill. You can call me Maria. We captured Loki and Fury is talking to him.”

 _"I was right. It is THAT man"_ I thought to myself. “I'm sorry, got a little lost in my way” I said.  
Steve smiled at me and said: “Loki's gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what's his play? “  
“He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard nor any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the Earth, in return,” he turns to me “I suspect, for the Tesseract. I apologize lady Catarina, I was harsh early. But this is a grave matter. Life on Earth is in danger as we speak and we need your help.”

I asked: “ But how can I help? I am still confused.”

Dr. Banner stood up and talked to me: “How can I explain it to you without you freaking out? HM... remember when you said you touched the Tesseract with your hands, it exploded and disappeared? - I nodded Yes and he finished his line of thinking “ well, you ran some tests and the thing is... it didn't... you absorbed its energy.” I froze and immediately realized why Thor had pointed out to me before while talking about Tesseract. “ I can explain it to you later, please don't panic,” said Dr. Banner worried.

I sat down quiet still terrified with the information and just listened to Fury's conversation with Loki along with the Avengers' conversation and I tried to keep up with them. Soon Fury entered the room and as he passed by he locked his eyes on me. He starts to talk to the Avengers, giving them orders and I was no less. He turned to me “Miss Cat. How would you like to talk to the man of the wood? “  
I understood the sarcasm in his voice and as I was about to open my mouth to decline he said “Good, let's see what you got. The guards will take you there, try to get information from him. He needs you, so you might get something good. Go.”

I didn’t know what he wanted me to do so I went to the door of Loki's cell and it opened. As soon as I entered I saw it. A huge glass cell with nothing but a bench pretending to be a bed. Not at all comfortable, if you ask me. And there he was, with his back turned to me and said: “You're finally here.”  
“You figured I'd come.”  
“After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate. They think because of what you are that you could make me give up.”  
“What am I?”I asked him curiously.  
“A goddess.”

I laughed at him and he gave a confused look. “I don’t believe it takes a being from another galaxy, who thinks he's the king of the mountain, to call me Goddess? Please, that way I'm going to blush.” I gave him a sarcastic tone and then I became serious. “Try again. Who am I? And how do you know me?” 

He stares at me like he was not expecting this answer and said: “You came to me. In your dreams. You called me.”  
_Is it possible that he was the man that has been present in my peaceful dreams? Where I keep singing the same song?_ I thought to myself as he observed me walking in his cell with his hands behind his back. To my surprise, he said, “ Yes, I am.”  
“What?” I asked.  
“I'm the man of your dreams,” he said with a grin on his face.

I realized what he was doing, that he could hear my thoughts and stared at him, empty-headed.  
“Yes, I can do exactly that. But it's different with you. Only when you let your guard down like now. But in the corridor... You were closed.” He started to laugh in a frightening way “I am strong, I am powerful, but never encountered anyone that could block me like that... I like it. Although, for a mere human to do that, it is strange don’t you agree?”  
“I don't care of that. For what I care, you can do whatever you want, but not on this planet. I've told what you've done. The people you killed. Why? For what? To have a lonely place on the podium? To feel superior to humans? Wow, great victory, yes sir. And then what? What comes next? An empty life? With nobody to love or without feeling the love of anyone? Just hate and rage that will eat you up and drive you crazy? Do you think you're terrible? Do you think we're weak? Take this as advice: I know terror, I looked it in the eyes. And you? You're just a spoiled kid that needs attention, but instead of growing up and making yourself a great king, you'd rather kill and force people to do your will. You don’t know us. And you don’t even know what we are capable of. “ I said trying to get his nerve. He just stays there empty face, looking at me. Almost as if he was fascinated. “I was told by your brother, Thor, what happened. You think you need to prove yourself. And as you try to do it the wrong way, you look like a monster....” this made him growl and he looked at me with a killer look.

“They lie and kill in the service of liars and killers” He was referring to SHIELD and he pointed to the camera, knowing they were all listening. “They pretend to be separate, to have their own code something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of them, and they will never go away. And for that I will make them kill each other, I will make the human race reborn as worthy of the air they breathe. Monster? Oh, no. You created and brought the monster. “ He shouts as he was glued to the cell's glass.

I turned my back on him while he was telling me all that and then there was silence: ”You try to look like a monster... but you're not…” I turned again to him, approached the cell, where he was touching the glass, looked into his puzzled eyes and I said: “ So, Banner? That's your play.” I said and talked to the earpiece they gave me “you heard him!” Then I turned to Loki. “And... Thank you for your cooperation.”

He looked blankly at me and a soft smile formed on his lips.  
“What?” I asked him before turning my back and head to the exit.  
“I couldn't enter your mind during this conversation. Just trying would hurt me like Hels... I'm impressed.”

As I realized what he could see in my memories if I ever let my guard down I shouted at him. “You stay the fuck out of my head! Do you understand me?”  
“Why? Is there anything you don't want us to know about?” He looked at the camera.  
“Yes. My life, my memories, and my secrets are mine to keep. Goodbye Loki.”

I walked out of the cell room and headed out to my own room while I heard him whisper: “Interesting…”

I went to my bedroom shaking and my mind was racing with thoughts about someone being able to know everything about my past. Not that it was a secret, I was all over the new, but no one ever knew what I really been through and I intended to keep it that way. 

The next events happened so fast... I was lying in my bed when I heard explosions, shots and I was scared, hidden in the corner of my room until someone burst into my door. And then I thought to myself "Fuck" Loki stood there looking at me with a huge smile on his face. “Come. You will be explained everything. “ And thinking to myself that my life could depend on my next actions, I just got my bag and followed him outside that base. 

That's when I realized why Tony said I needed wings to flee... 

We were in the sky, in a huge plane.


	4. Chapter 4

We left in another plane with a bunch of guards that looked like under some sort of spell. As I observed this, Loki said: “I am controlling them.”

I asked sarcastically, and I knew full well I was playing with fire: “ So, you, all-powerful, need humans to keep up your plan? “  
“You like to run, but you can't even walk. If you were a mere mortal you would be executed right away.” Loki said with a dangerous tone.  
“I AM a mere mortal.” I said, rolling my eyes at him.  
“So I should kill you right now.” 

He walked towards me and I stayed in place, showing no fear.  
“I can kill you slowly, in every way you fear, so you can look into my eyes while I do it.”  
“Kill me, please... Do whatever you want with me. I've been through worse.”

We stared into each other's eyes for a moment and I saw a bit of pain in his face and I said: “You can stop trying. You won't get in my head anytime soon.”

He had a threatening, dangerous smile on his face, as if he were ready to attack: “So... whatever I want, is that what you said?”

He stepped closer to me. Closer than I ever had been with him and I realize that he was almost touching my nose with his nose. My heart started to beat faster but I struggled inside not to show that he was getting me nervous and he finally said with a charming but serious tone in his voice: ” You're too much precious than you think. Don't do that.”  
“Do what?” I asked.  
“Beg me to be killed. or anyone else. You're a goddess. Above all. You don't deserve this planet, you deserve more, something even great…”

And I interrupted him: “Who do you think you are to tell me what I deserve or not? For what I've been told you only want death, evil and don't care about anyone but yourself. Why do you even care?”

He tensed up and turned away: “I don't. And they are right, I don't care about anyone but myself. “

I wanted to get to him so I was sincere with him. “Why do I get the feeling that's not true?” And then there was silence. He looked at me and I saw it... Hurt, sadness, emptiness, solitude, craving for help... As I looked into his eyes I let myself dig into him... into his mind and I started to see memories from him, from his childhood, from his life and started to feel the same he felt... His sadness reminded me of my childhood, the traumatic event that changed everything. I started to hear my own screams in my memory as my abductor forced himself to me. He was entering my mind at the same time I was entering his... I had to stop this but I didn't know how... The memories of both of us kept coming... Not visuals, but like a feeling, like a sensation... I jumped right away, pushing myself into a wall, crying and shouting: “What have you done to me? What was that? GET OUT OF MY HEAD! STOP IT.”

He was in shock looking at me, tears forming in his eyes: “ I'm sorry…”

I sat on the corner of the plane, embracing my own knees, like when I was a child and held captivated. Loki walked away with a scared look on his face and I didn't see him until we arrived at our destination... whatever it is.

Loki P.O.V.  
I tell her, trying to hide my expression full of emotions: “I don't. And they are right, I don't care about anyone but myself.”

And like that, she responds so sweetly: “Why do I get the feeling that's not true?”

My inside broke into pieces. My head was hurting, my heart was racing like never before. That words took a hit on me. And I don't know why. I don't get it. Why am I behaving like this? She is messing with me. And I am letting my guards down... How can it be? I see her tears in her face which made me sad... I knew what was happening, she was entering my mind. I couldn't let her see the monster inside. I started to fight it and this time I entered her mind. I wasn't expecting this... Her memories... Her painful memories... It felt like someone was cutting my head, my heart... My whole body was possessed by this overwhelming sensation... This felt like Hel... Like nothing that I ever felt... And she felt this way her whole life and still here is she... Strong and powerful, fighting me with her mind.  
As soon as we both stopped, she panics... I tried to talk but I could only apologize.

_What is wrong with me. Get yourself together! I thought to myself. She can't possibly have this effect on you..._

I tried to convince myself to stay away from her until the end of the mission, I turned my back to her and continued with what was planned. But during the whole trip to our destination, she did not leave my mind. So much suffering. So much courage. It is unlike anything I have ever known. And to think she does not think I'm a monster, it melts the ice cube I have in my chest. How is it possible for her to see something good when neither my own family sees ... My brother ... My mother ... Even ... my father ....

 _This must be a trick..._ I thought to myself as I went to the hiding where I had the rest of the soldiers that I "recruited" and leaving her alone crying. I have to ignore her and go on with my plan. There’s no turning back now. Not even if I wanted.


	5. Chapter 5

I was escorted to a room in this kind of military base. There were armed men everywhere, so I had to cooperate with everything. The room they gave to me was no big deal. The room back into the SHIELD facility was more welcoming. Anyway, I put my bag in the chair in the corner of the room and went to the bathroom.  
“At least there is a bathtub…” I said sarcastically while I opened the hot water. - “and hot water. Yay!”  
“I'm glad you're amused.” Loki said behind me, startling me.  
“Jesus! I know you want to kill me but not with a heart attack!” I grumbled.  
“I don't and I'm sorry.” He said. Something tells me he isn't he is not apologizing for scaring me.  
“I'm fine. You can leave me alone now and run back to your minions.” I said pissed off.  
“No. I AM sorry... I can't believe I am saying this, but I was out of my place. I shouldn't have invaded your privacy that way” He said.

I felt the sincerity in his words so I played along and relaxed a bit.  
“Wanna talk about invading privacy? I was about to take a shower and you entered the bathroom.”

He realizes that I was right and gets embarrassed. At the sight of his fumbling, I begin to laugh ... A genuine laugh. Like I haven't done in a while. And he smiles at me. Also a genuine one.  
“Are you mocking me? “  
“Why? Whatcha gonna do about it?” I laughed.  
“I am the God of mischief. It is not wise to do such things. I can hurt you” he says with a playful but challenging look.  
“You won't.”

He stares at me while I play with the water that is filling the bathtub and I got lost in my thoughts. I begin to remember my family and that I miss home. As I stare at the water in my hands, a strand of hair falls in front of my face, but I didn’t move it in order to cover the tear that was running down my face.

Suddenly, I feel a cold familiar touch hiding the hair behind my ear: “Did I do something wrong?”  
“Besides kidnap me? No. It’s just -- I miss home... I miss my depressing but comfortable and less dangerous life.” I say as I wipe the tears from my face. “If only I had not gone to the woods that night. I don’t know how I got there at all ... At first, I thought it was a dream, then I thought it was somnambulism. But now I don’t know what led me to that place and I'm afraid to find out.”  
“Don't be. The reason... It's beautiful. Terrifying, but beautiful” Loki says with his shiny green eyes.

At this point he is very close to my face. I can feel his breath in my face, I can almost feel the cold of his skin. I lost myself in those eyes for some moments. Before I could speak he whispers sweetly:  
“Take a shower as you wish. Get yourself ready, me and you... we're going out of here for some time. I will come later for you.”

I watch him as he leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him and I hear him closing the bedroom door as well. At that moment, I lock the bathroom door in case someone else tries to get in, and after a deep sigh, I begin to undress and go into the bath, relaxing as I feel the hot water wrap around my naked body.

I closed my eyes and tried to empty my mind, but all I could think of were his eyes... _Damn_ , I thought, _what is he doing to me? I don’t even know him. And for what I know, he is a murderer demi-god._

Loki P.O.V  
I got out of her bedroom to give her some privacy. I continued my day, my plans, but something was different. This wasn't amusing me anymore, but I knew that if I gave up of my plans I would suffer a horrible death and there was no escape. I went to Dr. Selvig to ask him how things were going and he tells me that it was almost ready and them asks me something obvious: “Do you recover it? The Tesseract? We will need it to open the portal.”

I froze. I remembered that Cat had absorbed its energy and we needed that energy. “Yes.”  
“Well, where is it?” he asks immediately  
“I will bring it to you later. Right now I have other matter to attend, don't bother me with questions again.” He said with an angry tone in his voice.

The rest of the day passed really slowly but I kept her in my mind. I know I can't be around her, she makes me weak and I really don't know why, but... it feels so good. Like I never felt before. But I have terrible objectives that will hurt her and she will never look me in the eyes with those shiny eyes full of tender. 

What am I going to do now? She shouldn't interfere with my plans. So I will use our date to seduce her to do want I need. 

Cat P.O.V.  
When I got out of the bathroom, wrapped up in my towel and went to my bag to dress something. As I went through my clothes I saw my favorite green dress and decided to dress it. I let my hair dry by itself, didn't have any hair dryer with me. When I was ready I started to wander around the room and I realized it was his room. Loki's room. There was some papers in a desk, which I couldn't decipher, some strange books scattered across the table, some pencils and his golden helmet with the big horns. I took it from the table, put it in my head and headed to the full-length mirror on the wall. As I saw my image I smiled and gave a muffled laugh because the helmet was too large to my head size and blinded my eyes.  
“How can he do anything with this on his head?” I thought out loud.  
“I am glad I amuse you, my lady.” Loki said against the door jamb.

I was startled by his unexpected presence.  
“Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.” He said with a frown face.

I sensed his annoyed look and said: “No, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were there. “  
“Clearly, I can see that.”

He started to approach me with a grin and a devilish look in his eyes and I started to back away until I hit the wall but didn't take the eyes off him. He sensed my nervousness and got closer to me, gently stroking my cheeks that instantly turned red and my eyes flinched with the cold touch from his hand. We stayed there for what looks like minutes, I could feel his breath in my face, I could smell the freshness in his flesh, but he put his hands in my head and took his helmet off, walking away  
“I do believe this belongs to me. But I liked the way it looks on you... Now... I need to do some things before I take you out. I will be right behind you, you can go outside and wait.”

He turned his back, put his helmet on the shelf and sat down in his chair next to his desk, starting to write something in his books. I took a deep breath and said to him:  
“Why am I here Loki? What are you planning to do?”  
“Have you not heard a word I said? Off you go.”

He didn't even turn his head to me, just kept writing. Obviously, as the stubborn and curious minx, I am, I didn’t obey him and began to peer over his desk.  
“What you're doing?”  
“Nothing that little head of yours could understand.”

I read more carefully the book he was reading and taking notes of and some of the phrases I started to recognize. As I open my mouth to ask him something about the book he closed it abruptly and jumped right into me, grabbing my neck:  
“When I tell you to do something I expect that you, mortal, do as I said.”

I was gasping for air and started to feel dizzy but kept looking him in the eyes, showing no fear and not fighting. He seemed surprised and released immediately his grip but kept his hand on my neck: “Am I not frightful enough for you?”  
“I've seen worse.” I kept looking into his eyes.

He let go of me and backed away.  
“I do not believe you, pet.”  
“Pet?” I asked him astonished. “First I am not a pet, my name is Cat, thank you very much. Second, all-mighty god, you can believe me when I say you're not the worst I have ever face and third” I almost got interrupted by him as he advanced in my direction with his eyes full of rage but I continued talking “what the hell is an infinity stone. What kind of books are you reading?”

He just froze with an empty look in his face.  
“Cat ate your tongue?” I joked.

He continued what it seemed shocked looking at me. He opens his mouth to talk but there were no words.  
“Not so silver-tongued now, huh?”  
“We should go have dinner now. “  
“What the hell? Are you serious?”  
“Beg your pardon?”  
“What? You didn't expect to almost suffocate me and that I still go out with you, did you? “  
“I do believe you have forgotten you are under my orders. You do not have a saying in this, you do not know where you are in this moment, I have this placed heavily guarded so you can't go anywhere without my permission. And besides, you need to eat. Now be quiet and come with me.”

He headed to the door and I said: “I'm only going because I want to, because I am hungry, not because you told me so.”

He rolled his eyes, sighed and got out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

I followed Loki into a black car with black windows not even looking at him. My neck still hurts from before but my heart hurts the most. _How can this man be so soft, so gentle and affectionate and then be mad, full of anger and so scary?_. I was thinking a lot all the way to whatever place he was taking me. I always felt very different, could not fit in. I don't have friends. I've never had a boyfriend. No man ever touched me. At least one that I wanted to ... Anyway, I was finding it odd how I was reacting to this man, this demigod who kidnapped me and held me captive. However, I didn’t even flinch when he approached me before, I was nervous but I tried to look strong. This reaction is new to me and I find it fascinating, but scary.

It was a long ride until the car stopped and Loki said while exiting the car: “Good, we're here.”  
“Where is here?” I asked him.

He held out a hand to help me out and as I was stepping outside I was amazed... We were at the top of a mountain, with an amazing view over the city. I was speechless and just followed Loki and his bodyguards to a small building that looked like a restaurant. It was oddly empty and we headed to a table next to a window with that fantastic view.  
“I don’t know what your intentions are. Maybe this is what I call "fattening the pig and then killing it", but either way this place is fantastic.”  
“It is beautiful, indeed, my lady. But it can not match the beauty that is in front of my eyes.” He responded to me with a soft smile on his lips.  
“Whoa, hold on, don Juan. Why can you act so nice and then become a madman?”

He didn't say anything, just lowered his eyes and offered a chair for me to sit. I was a little reticent, but I ended up sitting down. He immediately sat down in his chair and gestured to one of the guards to start serving food.  
“Before creation itself, there were six singularities." He started talking just like that. "Then the universe exploded into existence, and the remnants of these systems were forged into concentrated ingots... Infinity Stones. The Infinity Stones are six immensely powerful objects tied to different aspects of the universe: the Mind Gem, the Soul Gem, the Power Gem, the Time Gem, the Reality Gem, and the Space Gem. The last was attached to a vessel... a cube... I believe you are aware of it.” - he waited for me to nod and continued “Only beings with great power can hold them in the hands without being killed.”

I wasn't understanding what he was trying to tell me. I was so fascinated by the story of the infinity stones that I didn’t notice his curious gaze. “You held the cube in your hands. Yet, here we are, pet. Curious isn't it?“

I just stared at him and not managed to say anything. He continued his speech. “I see you're getting the point of this conversation. Good. I do not wish to explain it again. Very well, are you aware of your nature?”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“You, my lady, are a reincarnated goddess.”  
“No. No, I am not. I would be aware if I were a goddess.”  
“But still, you were able to hold the cube.”  
“Yes, but I …”  
“No buts. You are what you are. Accept it. During your life, haven’t you feel distant from other humans? Or incomplete? Like something was missing?”  
I opened my mouth to talk but closed it immediately, only nodding to him. He stood up and held a hand for me to grab it. As if my body was automatic I grabbed it and he held me close, with a hand on my waist starting dancing to the music I didn't even notice in the first place. 

The only instrument of the music was a piano, a simple ballad, soft and calm. I felt uncomfortable at first but his soft eyes locked into mine calmed me down. We danced the music until the end, not being able to stop and not being able to look away from each other. I felt this odd sensation in my stomach back to my throat. Like I was suffocating but not in a bad way. I never felt this way before. He was looking at me with eyes full of questions.  
“You look so different from other Midgardians... “

I lowered my gaze, feeling sadness over me. “I feel different. Always have, always will. Not the kind of person to fit in, to have no friends.”  
“I'm not pointing it out as a bad thing. You're just... different and I am not referring to the goddess part.  
“I still have my doubts in that.” I said looking at him  
“Don't. Don't doubt it for a second. Don't doubt yourself. When you touched the Tesseract you absorb its energy. Even though you manage to survive that, it's not good to have it inside you. Its power is greater than anything I know and I still don't know how you can hold it inside without going mad. Have you felt any difference since that night?”  
“Yes... Some headaches, racing heart, weird dreams... I also fainted when your big brother was screaming at me for not knowing what I was.”

I saw his eyes flinch and a rage in his eyes: “My brother... Always so nosy.”  
“Got family problems, huh?”  
“Nothing that concerns you.” He said coldly.  
“huh -- Ok -- Sorry, I was out of my league. Anyway, I also have this weird thing in my head like I have more knowledge than I should. When we were in your room and I peeked over your shoulders to your books, and sorry about being nosy, I started to read those strange words. What language was that?”

He laughed. He just laughed at me and didn’t answer me, so I asked annoyed. “What?”  
“That was Asgardian language... You must have been some kind of Asgardian Goddess and maybe the Tesseract awoke something in you… I still wasn't able to find who you are but I'm trying to. But still, that power is dangerous, we need to find a way to get it out of you. Besides I need it.”

That's when I realized what he really intended with all of that and burst out: “That's what you wanted with this? This dinner? Being nice to me, telling me things and trying to make me believe in things I didn't even know if it's true?. God damn you, you can kill me right away but I won't give you what you want.”  
“I would never lie to you. I promise. All I said was true. Yes, I want it out, not only because I need it, but because I don't want you to get hurt.”

I sighed, trying to hold my tears: “Can we please go back? “  
“Cat…” He sighed approaching me, only to make me back up.  
“Please, I beg you. I am tired and I need to rest.”

He didn't say anything and we just headed to the car and back to the place where we were before. I asked where I was going to sleep and he pointed out his bed. “You don't seriously think I will sleep you!” I said angry and scared.  
“If I wanted you to, I would, but do not worry, I won't even sleep here tonight.”

I walked over the bed, pulled out the sheets and took off my shoes before lying down on the bed. I heard him sigh before closing the bedroom door and before I knew it I was crying senseless.

LOKI POV:  
I closed the door very softly leaning my back against it while sitting on the floor. I stayed this away for a very long time trying to understand why I was feeling that way. I don't owe her anything I could easily kill her but I don't want to. I need to know why.

I stood up, feeling confident enough to open the door and confront her but I stopped myself as I heard a muffled cry. _Is she crying? I was inappropriate before but I don't think it was the motive of these hurtful crying. Or was it?_

I decided not to interrupt her. _It would be embarrassing for her if I saw her at this vulnerable time. So I just sat down with my back against the door. My head was flooded with thoughts, all of them converging to her. To Cat. What have I done to her? Dragging more people to my fight, dragging a so innocent sweet girl to this fight. Tonight she was actually having a good time, she wasn't trying to run away, she wasn't faking, she just wasn't scared of me. She reminds me of Frigga, my... mother. And that's why I have so many empathies with her. Otherwise, I would just kill her and take that power from her. I could do that... But I don't want to._

And with that river full of thought I just slowly fell asleep on the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning I woke up slowly, with my eyes sore from crying until falling asleep. I opened them but closed them immediately because the window was opened and the sun was already rising and shining. I felt the sun rays warming up my face and for a moment I forgot where I was. But it came to me: this wasn't a nightmare. I need to get out of here.

I stood up from the bed realizing I still had my green dress from last night. Last night... I was starting to enjoy the evening but as always he just wanted something from me. At least this one didn't force himself on me. This thought sent a shiver on my spine and I shook it off my head. I headed to the bathroom where I made my personal hygiene. I put my hair into a big bun with some hair strands falling down in my forehead and dress denim pants and a white blouse. I put my sneakers on and went to the bedroom door. I started to open it slowly but I was immediately taken by surprise as Loki was lying on the floor sleeping.  
I kneeled in front of him and shook him gently: “Loki? Are you ok?”

He woke up slowly but as soon he realizes I was in front of him and he was on the floor and sit up immediately.  
“I thought you said you wouldn't be here tonight. You slept on the floor?”

He was with this blank expression looking at me but didn't respond. He just stood up and left. When he was almost out of my view I heard him saying:  
“You can wander around. Don't even think about running away.”

With that he disappeared and I whispered "asshole".

I started to walk through that corridors, looking for a place that looked like a kitchen because I was starving and needed a good breakfast. There were some heavy steel doors on my way but I assumed the kitchen wasn't there and that I would not like to see what's behind those doors. After about 15 minutes walking around and losing myself so many times I found a kitchen with some food. It was empty, there was nobody to be found so I was ok. I ate like I haven't done it in years. I took some bread with chocolate chips with me just in case I got hungry again and didn't find the kitchen. 

I continued to wander around and when I was passing by a window inside the corridor I believe I was looking to some kind of lab. I saw people with white gown talking with Loki. They were completely normal but there was something about their eyes... All of them had deep blue eyes. Kind of beautiful. I watched them talking for some time and one of them noticed I was there. He told Loki and he looked at me. I started walking fast through the corridor until I found a door that led to another laboratory. This one was empty. There was a hospital stretcher with moorings, some hospital tools, scalpels, scissors, tweezers. My heartbeat started to go faster as my mind made me remember the torture that I've been through years ago.

_As I woke up I tried to stand up but I was trapped. I opened my eyes and I saw that I was tied up, fully naked, some blood on my arm and a huge wound behind that all blood.  
“Good morning my love. You're awake now. Good good.”_

_My abuser said that with his back turned on me. He was doing something on the small metal desk with wheels. As soon as he turned to me I saw that he was holding a scalpel and started to walk to my side. He started stroking my cheeks with the scalpel gently and down my neck... down my breasts...  
“Please stop…”_

_His expression was horrifying. I saw the true face of the devil at that moment. I watched in terror while he opened his zipper, took off his pants showing his erect cock, he spit in his hand, rubbing its stickiness in my vaginal entrance where he immediately inserts his cock and raped me while I was tied up, powerless and hopeless with the scalpel touching my neck._

I started crying with those memories. And just stood there crying for some time. When I realized that crying wasn't taking me anywhere I got out of the lab and headed to Loki's bedroom as it seems the only place where I was a little safe. 

I entered into the room and headed to the bed but I just sat down on the floor with my head buried in my knees while I embraced them. I soon realized the room wasn't empty: “You took long enough. I started to think you ran away. Of course, you wouldn't be able --”

He stopped when he saw my tears. “Darling, if you're scared of me I…”  
“I am not scared of you.” I interrupted.  
“You should be then.” He said with pity in his eyes.  
“No. I've been through worse and I tend not to pity myself in hard situations. So what do you need me to do so I can go home safe and sound?”

He was taken by surprise with my question and looked at me very intently as I stood up from the floor. He looked at me for a few moments and said like a whisper: “I am learning a spell that I hope it can help get the power out of you…”  
“Spell? Like magic?” I laughed, cleaning my tears away.

He showed me his hand and a flame appeared and disappeared. “Yes, magic. “

I was speechless and he smiled. “What you call science, we call it magic. This is just some science Midgardians can't understand. Although there are some among you that are capable of some abilities.”  
“You were born with it?”  
“My mother taught me.” He said with some affection in his voice.  
“What can you do with it?”  
He laughed: “Just name it.”  
“Can you make snow?”

He had a grin on his face and I started to see some Snowflakes falling down my head. I caught them with my hands watching them melt slowly.  
“I've never seen snow in my life.”

He was surprised: “Really? One of the few things I find beautiful in your world and you haven't seen it?”  
“No. I'm not much of a traveler. From where I come from you have this amazing sun through Summer and some Autumn and rain and cold in Winter and some of the Spring, but it rarely snows. I always wanted to take some snow vacations but… “ I paused a little feeling sad for not being able to have real friends who I can share this thing with. “I guess I never had the opportunity.”

He looked at me not believing in my justification but didn't say anything about that. I just kept asking questions about his abilities and he kept answering them. We sat down on the chairs and continue talking for hours. The family talk came to the conversation:  
“You talked about your mother that taught you magic. How is she?” I asked.  
“She is the most amazing being in the universe. I mean it. She truly loves me, she's the only one that cares about me. She is a trickster like I am, I got that from her... Or not. I don't know. “  
“Why?”  
“I have recently found some truths about my family that made me... confused.”  
“What was that?”

He looked at me he looked at me with a threatening look and I said immediately:  
“Ok. Sorry, I shouldn't have asked that.”

He relaxed in his chair and sighed:  
“Me and Thor were very close since childhood. We were... are very different. He was this rough kid, always getting into trouble, always a warrior and I... I was the smart one” he said proudly “I was calm and always away from my brother's fights. My mother always showed her love for us. always. But my father didn't. He always said that we both were born to be kings but he never considered me to be the heir... I couldn't understand why he loved Thor so much but despised me... Now I do. I always felt different. Not always in a good way.” He paused for some time and I didn’t say anything, expecting him to continue. “Many centuries ago there was a fight for the peace in nine realms…”

He continued explaining the way war went through and about Laufey. I was listening very carefully and I was really being sorry for him.  
“My father beat Jotunheim in battle but he didn't only fight them... He found a baby, Laufey's son. He thought the baby could be the key to make peace with Jotuns and he went to Asgard claiming him as his son. His second son.”  
“You?”  
“Yes. Me. I was full of rage because I realized he never truly loved me as a son. He always thought of me as a monster, a frost giant that would never be able to rule Asgard. That's why he benefited Thor because he was his true heir.” He paused for a moment “Even then all I wanted was my father approval and I tried to get it, maybe the wrong way, but I wanted it so badly that it didn't matter who I was hurting.”

He explained about his plans to destroy Jotunheim and kill Laufey during Odin's sleep. He talked about when Thor appeared and stopped him and when he fell from the Bifrost.  
“What happened to you after that?”  
“I'm afraid I cannot continue my story.”  
“Why?”  
“You're too nosy and I have told you enough. I don't even understand why I did it in the first place.”  
“Because I am worthy of it?” I joked a little.

He was about to open his mouth to say something but closed it and gave me a small smile.  
“What about you?”

I froze: “What about me?”  
“Tell me your story. I know there is something about you. I wanna know more so I can find out what goddess are you.”  
“Uhm... I...what do you wanna know?”  
“Whatever you want to tell me about.“ He grinned.  
“There's nothing to know... I am a normal human, or Midgardian as you say. I have a great family... Pretty sure I wasn’t adopted, if you saw my brothers and parents you would understand” I laughed “but that's it, I studied, got a degree and was working in an information technology company. Until that night... Uhmm... that's it.”  
“You forgot something…”  
“What?”

He gave me a devilish smile: “God of lies here. You can't lie to me.”  
“Not lying... Just there are some things that I don't like to talk about.” I looked at his disappointed face “Look... I had a really hard time in life, ok? It made me change my perspective of... everything.”  
“As....?” he asked impatiently.  
“As I do not think every problem are serious enough to affect my reasoning. To think that there are people in worse conditions than me, that not everything is like hell. To think that there is still kindness in people's heart. Not everyone is out there to get me. It helped me to enjoy the air that I breathe, the warm sun in my face... To enjoy my parents laugh while I can... To help others that really need... I think we're just a grain of sand in a desert universe. How important could be my problems that would affect the rest of the universe? Not important. Why bother so much? Whatever comes, it will be.”

He became quiet. “You remind me of Frigga, my mother... always so full of love, always expecting to see kindness in everybody, even the ones that don't deserve... even in me. “  
“Loki, I -- “I said in a whisper.  
“I failed her... I did…” He slowly walks out of the room, head down, leaving me alone.

I was still relaxed in the chair but went to bed... My mind was full of thoughts. I don't know why I talked to him for so long. Why did he even told me those things? Was it true? It felt like it, but he is the god of LIES. I decided that when he came back I would talk to him about what he was doing here on earth and what he was planning to do with me. But right now, I'm gonna eat something. The sun was already sat so I supposed it was dinner time. I got up, went to the kitchen to eat something and then I came back to bed and sleep..


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning I woke up less heavy than the night before and started to stretch. When I was about to finish it, I opened my eyes and was startled right away by a smiling Loki. “Good morning pet”

I jumped outta bed with scared, falling down while I did it. I hit the ground quite hard with my ass.  
“What the hell?”  
“What?”  
“You slept here?”  
“This is my bed after all, isn't it?”

I realized he was right but protested anyway.  
“You could at least woke me up and give me another place to sleep.”  
“Why? did you not sleep well?”  
“I did, but -- ”  
“So did I. I'm going to shower, wanna join?” He said, getting out of bed and winking at me. I looked at him and saw that he was just wearing boxers. I blushed and looked away.

“What? Don't like what you're seeing?” He asked, turning towards me holding out a hand to help me stand up.  
“No... Is not that... Yes... Uhg, just go please.”

He turned is back on me and went to the shower with a huge grin but before he disappears into the bathroom he said: “You can still come if you want. Anyway, you need to hurry up, we got things to do.”

I waited until he got out of the shower, with a towel wrapped in his waist. I tried not to look and went to the bathroom while he just grinned at me. When I was ready I went to other room that Loki told me to. He was already there waiting for me.  
“Sit and stay still.”  
“What are you gonna do?”  
“Don't make me say twice. I'm gonna do what I told you before, taking out the energy you absorbed. If you do not want to be harmed, sit down and stay still.”

I was getting scared but did what he told me. I kept looking at him while he approached me. He put a hand in my head and stared into my eyes. His face was pale, the green in his eyes was replaced by a more intense gaze, more serious, more dangerous. He stood there for a moment but nothing happened. He started to feel uncomfortable with our staring into each other and closed his eyes, I guess he needed to concentrate. After some time I felt some kind of electricity through my body. Everything became black slowly and I felt myself fainting.

When I woke up I was back in bed and wondered if it was a dream. I opened my eyes and saw a worried Loki and 2 more guys in the room. One of them was armed and the other looked like a doctor.  
“Cat?”  
“What... happened?”  
“You tell me... You're the one that has been unconscious for 4 days.”

I was incredulous and tried to get up.  
“Don't do it.” The doctor said. “We don't know what happened, don't make anything that might hurt you. What was the last thing you remember?”

I relaxed a bit but noticed the intense gaze from the guard.  
“I remember Loki's eyes...--” He moved uncomfortably and I continued. ”I remember he closed his eyes and then I remember closing mine after that... Then all went blank.”

They stare into each other and Loki asked: “You do not remember anything?”  
“No... Why? What happened? Did you manage to do what you wanted to?”  
“Yes…” Loki said carefully.  
“But?”

He looked to the doctor and the guard and nod them to leave. The guard kept staring at me but went away as commanded.  
“You used some kind of magic to hurt me. You fought me with magic, some kind of rage, your eyes were black and you kept saying "stop calling me Marzia". Does it ring a bell?”

I froze and nodded a no. He didn't believe in me and raised a brow but he didn’t insist. Stupid as I am I asked about his well being. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

He laughed: “You were almost dead for 4 days and you ask me if I am okay? What is wrong with you?”  
“I'm okay... A little weak but okay…”  
“Well then. I managed to take that power that was inside of you and can continue with my plan. Soon I will get out of here and proceed. But you... somehow still have some energy inside you. As I said before it awoke something inside you… You have great power and you should try to learn how to use it. Here.” He handed me some odd books “Have them.“  
“Thank you...? But, what are they for?”  
“Magic books. For beginners... My mother gave them to me. That's the way I began. Read and practice. I will help you. You can either decide what to do with your gift after, either for good or for bad.”  
“Why?” I asked him quietly.  
“Because you can choose what to make with those powers... “

I interrupted him immediately:  
“No. Why do you want to help me with that? What’s in it for you?”  
He didn’t know exactly what to say so he just tried to best me. “A master must have his apprentices. A god has to have his disciples. Whatever answer you need to have, I want to teach you.”

The conversation ended there. 

A few days have passed and I was completely healed. I also read all the books Loki gave me and he even had to give me more to read because I was getting bored being in bed all the time.

During these days Loki came often to check on me or the doctor. They really looked like they cared. But whenever the doctor came into the room, that guard also came along and kept staring at me as if he was some kind of predator ready to catch the prey.

Loki and I have been talking so much about everything. Even though he held me captive he treated me good most of the time. There were other times that he just stayed away and looked at me in a cold manner. Anyway, I knew running away was not an option. That place was heavily guarded and, besides, there was Loki. He is always one step ahead. So I didn't even try to.

For some weeks he tried to help me cast some spells. I failed miserably at first and wanted to give up. Of course, he didn't let me do that. I started with small things: make things move. I broke a lot, and I mean a lot, of glasses. Then, I tried conjuring things, like food, or objects. I even got me a chocolate cake. He palm-faced himself when he saw me eating the cake. Sometimes it was fun. Sometimes it was too hard for me and left me weak.

Meanwhile, I kept sleeping in his bed as he did. But he never made me uncomfortable except for one night that he asked me if I never slept with a man. I got away from him and asked him why he wanted to know. He answered that I was tense whenever he came to bed, didn't look at him when he was half-naked and blushed every time he approached me. I told him I was a respectable woman and that I slept in his bed because I had no other option. He mocked me and told me that I could sleep on the floor or on the chair. Pigheaded as I am I did exactly that, I took my pillow and a blanket and lay down on the floor. Even though he was trying to get me to bed. I fell asleep right there. Of course the other day I was sore, but it was worth it.

Some weeks have passed and one day Loki told me that he was going to be busy for a few days and that I would not see him for some time, which made me a little sad and I didn't know why.  
“When will you come back?”  
“I don't know sweet one. For now on, anything can happen.”  
“When can I leave?”  
“What do you mean? Leave?”  
“When can I see my family? You expected to have me here locked up forever?”

He laughs in a dangerous way: “Oh Cat... Oh, my sweet sweet Cat... Of course, I don't expect to lock you in here forever... We will soon move to another place and you can be locked in there forever. I promise you, darling, whatever happens, I will always come back for you.”  
“But why? Why do you keep me here? You already have what you wanted from me.”  
“No, I don't.”  
“What more can I possibly have that you need?”

He was about to open his mouth to talk when we got interrupted by the guards telling him that it was time to leave. He was leaving the room and I grabbed his arm. His eyes locked into mine and I saw fear in them. He kept his arm in my hand as if he wanted to tell me something but he didn’t talk. I tried to ease the tension and asked him again: “You didn't answer my question. What could you possibly want from me?”

He didn't say anything. He looked at me for a second before something snapped him out of his thoughts as he just closed the door with another hand, push me against it and pressed his lips on mine. It was a soft gentle kiss, not bossy, but with longing. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, gently stroking my tongue with it. I gave in into the kiss and put my hand on his head, stroking his hair through my fingers. His hands were wandering through my body, my waist, my arms, my neck, all the way to my hair. When he grabbed it he pushed his head away to breath a little. He looked into my eyes and then continued kissing me. It was like fire in my head, in my heart, in my belly... in other areas that I never ever felt like that. Oddly as it seems, I wasn’t feeling not a bit uncomfortable with that intimate moment... I was actually enjoying it. But this tender moment ended abruptly when someone knocked on the door. Loki looked at me in the most tenderness way and said: “I will come back for you.”

With that he just left.


	9. Chapter 9

The next thing I knew I was all alone in that building. I wandered around those immense corridors looking for some sort of living being but I found nothing. This is my opportunity to escape, I thought to myself. So I just opened every door trying to find an exit. 

As I walked fast through that facility I stopped and froze when I see one of the guards and immediately realized that he was that guard staring at me when the doctor visited me weeks ago. He saw me and I saw a malicious smile on his face as he approached me. I started to walk away in the opposite direction and then started running. To my shock, the guard was running too and he soon caught tossing me to the floor.  
“I saw the way you looked at me before. I know you want to fill my hard cock inside you. I want it too. I couldn't think about anything else, I thought about feeling your wet cunt around my cock while I jerked off.”  
“Stop! Please!!!”  
“Loki didn't want anyone to touch or even look at you like you were his, and I didn't know why. But I do now. You're so fuckable.”

I cried so loud while he was trying to take off my clothes. Suddenly there was a smoke grenade on the floor and armed men entered the building. I recognize them, they were SHIELD. They shot the guard that was trying to rape me and he fell right on top of me and as I tried to take him off me, there was this huge energy explosion from my hands as the guard was thrown away through the air and against a wall. I didn't know how I did that, but as soon as one of the agents of SHIELD held a hand to me I pushed him away.  
“Please Cat. It's alright you got you” Natasha said, showing herself behind the agents. “Let's get you to someplace safe.”

We got into the Quinjet and the next thing I knew we were at the Avengers tower where doctors were all rushing around me, doing test and analysis, looking for wounds and kept asking me if I was ok. When they looked at the screens watching my results they looked confused. I saw them talking with DR. Banner and Tony and they both looked at me troubled. Some minutes after they came to me along with Fury. They wanted to know everything that happened to me for the last months. I asked for how long I was held. They said three months. 

I look at them upset. “ Why did you take so long to find me? Oh my god, my job, my family…”

Tony reassured me they were ok, that they were still under protection. And then I asked. “What about him? What about Loki?”

They looked at me and I saw some grin on Fury's face.:  
“He was arrested. Went back to Asgard where he was locked away until Odin decide what to do with him. Maybe he’ll be locked away forever or even sentenced to death. “

I showed them I was relieved, but actually, I felt something strange in my heart, some tightening on the chest. Dr. Banner noticed that but remained quiet. The doctors said I needed to rest before additional conversations and they all got out. A moments later Dr.Banner entered again: ”You didn't tell us everything did you? The way you looked when Fury told you Loki's fate... What happened back there? “ He asked with a soft concerned voice.  
“I -- Nothing really…”  
“You can tell me, not officially”  
“He didn't hurt me. I heard the stories you told about him being a murderer but he didn't hurt me at all. He was kinda polite actually. And he told me about his story with his parents and Jotuns. Like... he opened up with me. “  
“That's odd... Even though Thor still protects him and believes that there's still some good in him. Something else happened, didn't it?”  
“Yeah... He taught me magic... He told me I was a goddess…”  
“We know that part. You said you played along to survive, but... “ He looked at me. “Look if you don't wanna tell me, ok. But please be cautious.”  
“Yeah, I am... I... He will come after me…”  
“Cat... He's in Asgard... Heavily guarded.”  
“I know... But he said that before he kissed me and left. And it’s Loki. He is smarter than all of us.”

He was kinda bewildered about the kiss but somehow he knew something happened between us and that would justify that feeling. “I knew something happened between you… Cat, he is dangerous. What did you do?”  
“I kinda... kissed him back,” I said like a scolded kid.  
“Oh Cat… This is not good. Not good at all.”  
“I know it's sick... I'm sick... That... man... kissed me and even though I knew everything he has done, I still let myself go.”  
“It was just a kiss? You didn't…”  
I looked at him upset. “No! I -- No!”

He raised his arms in defeat and said: “Okay, this stays between us. If Fury knew that, he would not let you out... but don’t worry, Loki is locked away, you're fine and you're coming home as soon as possible. I'll make sure of that.”

I smiled and thanked him as he left the room. 

The rest of the days were passed with me sleeping or being checked up by the doctors, by Dr. Banner or by Tony. Even though I was ok I always thought about Loki. I wanted to talk to him one last time but I knew it wasn't possible. That man intrigued me. He had appeared to me in my dreams, he had kidnapped me, but he treated me delicately well, he trusted me with personal things and approached me in ways I had never left anyone do before. I thought about him all week until it arrived the day I was discharged by the doctors. They told me I was having a private plane flight home. I couldn’t be more thrilled but even then I thought about Loki all the time. I had to shake these thoughts out of my head while I said my goodbyes to the Avengers. Fury said before I entered the plane with a grave tone one his voice: “ We will be watching you.”  
I swallowed hard, but Tony interrupted: “ Some of us will watch you with both eyes.” and he tried to make a serious face, failing miserably.

I made an effort not to laugh as Fury turned his back clearly upset. I said goodbye and went home to my family and friends, always with Loki in my thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

I went back home and, even though I knew there was gonna be hard for him to find me, I dreamt about him every goddamn night. It was fucking frustrating. I never ever felt this way towards anybody. I could be thinking and dreaming about someone like Captain America, like Thor. But no, I had to have feelings for a alien murderer. WTF is wrong with me?

Weeks have passed and the dreams slowly stopped. In the last one, Loki told me he thought about me every night before falling asleep and wanted a chance to be with me, so he was coming to take me to Asgard. Part of me wanted that to be true. Imagine that. A new life for me, where no one would know about my past and no one would pity me. Damn, that would be so perfect.

But nothing happened. I heard about what happened in England, about Thor saving Earth from the named Dark Elves and I thought that maybe Loki was with him. I was wrong. It felt like a dagger in my stomach when the reporter from the news said that Loki was killed trying to protect us. 

How could that happen?

I asked Bruce for a favor and I studied every information SHIELD had about Loki. I knew almost everything about him. How was that possible? Part of me couldn't believe and the other part... well it broke my soul a little more.

I honored his memory studying the books he gave me about magic and practice a little every day. For a beginner, I was learning really fast. If somehow I was attacked by someone I was now able to defend myself. I was becoming powerful, just as Loki told me I would.

One night, I was rolling in my bed, not being able to fall asleep. So I decided to get dressed, grabbed some denim shorts, a white tank top, and some flip-flops. I left home very noiselessly not to wake my mother. I went down the back stairs and got out into the woods. I went to the place where I first met Loki and began to train magic again. I thought my ability to do magic came from the Tesseract, but I looked like I was born to do it.

An hour after I started training, I thought I was tired enough to go and try to get some sleep. In fact, using magic usually wears me off very quickly, so it was a good way to displace sleeping pills.

My heart began to pound suddenly. As if my senses were clear as the spiderman. I sensed a presence behind me, but it didn’t look hostile. Without turning my back, I said out loud, full of confidence  
-"It's dangerous to walk alone at this time of night."

I heard a muffled chuckle that I quickly recognized and I widened my eyes.  
"Still learning from the books I gave you? I feel proud."  
"But on the news, they said you were dead!" I said, turning to face him.  
"Good. That was my intention."  
"What are you doing here? Still desiring to conquer Earth?" I asked mocking him.  
"Oh no. I realized that was a mistake. Although I still found Humans despicable they are.... laborious. I came with the intention of conquering something else." He approached me and I felt my cheeks flush as I remembered that I was just wearing a transparent white tank top, without a bra. I was not expecting to find anyone there at that hour of the night, especially not the allegedly dead Loki. His approach produced shivers down my body, my breathing began to accelerate and my heart wanted to come out of my mouth. This man made me feel things all over the body, heat in the wrong places and to make things worse, I could see in my little white sweater that my nipples were erect. He noticed that, and a huge grin appeared on his face. "Aren't you happy for me not being dead?" He was so close to me, almost touching my nose with his nose.

I gulped and said like a whisper "No. You... should stay away from me."  
He sighed, closed his eyes and looked again to me. "What if I told I can not do that?"

I tried to find the courage to make a hard question but I was too afraid of the answer: "What do you want from me?"  
"I don't know," He whispered softly, while one of his hands stroked my right cheek, down to my jaw, my neckline, the middle of my breasts, stopping when he was near my heart. "I want to know why you have this effect on me."  
"What effect?" I whispered. I let out a gasp when he pushed me to him by my waist with one hand and lifted my chin with the tip of his finger, barely brushing his lips in mine.  
"Make me dream about you every night. Make me think about you every day. What kind of magic is this? What have you done to me?"

I quickly answered him without thinking "Maybe you gone mad."

He locked his eyes on mine for a while and whispered: "Good", kissing me softly on my lips. 

I returned the kiss, grabbing his hair and pulling him closer. His hands were all over my body which made me twitch at first but I managed to control myself. The kiss was wet, passionate, with a lot of desire from both of us. On one hand, I didn’t stop thinking about him ever since the first kiss. I don’t know why. And on the other hand, I felt a knot in my stomach when I’ve been told he was dead. Feeling the heat of his body against mine was enough to comfort me and I didn’t want to let it go. So I just kept caressing his tongue with mine, stopping for a split second to breathe and then resuming the kiss.

Slowly he pushed me against a tree and one of his hands started to dig under my tank top, caressing my back and my belly and started to go up to my breasts. He was rubbing his clearly hard shaft in between my legs, where I felt moist forming there. As he was about to touch my breasts I started to think about the last time someone touched me like that... I thought about my past, about all the torture, the unwilling sex... And it blasted my mind. I widened my eyes while he was kissing me and I pushed him away harshly. He fell with his back on the floor, watching me in confusion.

I started to get away when he got up and started to walk in my direction, still with the shocked look on his face "Don't you dare, Loki." 

He didn't listen to me as he grabbed me and gave me a hug. I screamed in his chest while he was trying to calm me down and tears began to stream down my cheeks.  
"Shh little one. I didn't mean to scare you" 

I cried so hard but eventually went mute, feeling only his chest. God, it felt so good, but it was so wrong.  
"Was it too much?"  
"No..." I said murmuring.  
"What then? Was about what I've done in the past? I must tell you I regret my actions. Well, some of them, otherwise I wouldn't be able to know you... Tell me what's wrong"  
"It's personal... I wanna go home"  
"Alright... Look at me" He put his hand in my chin, lifting my head and placing a kiss in my forehead "Can I escort you home? I promise I won't do anything you do not desire."

I don't know why, but I nodded yes and we started walking home. As we were entering my house we tried to do as little noise as possible. When we got into my room, I lay down in my bed and he tucked my sheets. I closed my eyes thinking he was leaving but hoping he wouldn't. I felt relief when I felt the weight of his body laying down in my bed. I turned to him and was about to ask him why he was in the bed with me but he spoke first:  
"I'll be here just until you fall asleep. I promise I'll leave after"  
I felt myself falling asleep but before that, I whispered "You can sleep here tonight. Don't go. My mother leaves early to work and I don't have a job anymore, so you can stay"

I felt a soft kiss on my forehead and fell asleep immediately, feeling more vulnerable than ever.


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up early and immediately remembered last night events when I felt Loki's breath in my ear. He was cuddling me. It felt oddly good. Since I forgot to close the window, there was some sunlight that allowed me to see the outlines of his face. He was unquestionably gorgeous. He has a pale skin, with dark hair that fell perfectly on his face. I tucked it behind his ears softly, not wanting to wake him. I stayed like that for some moment, embracing his figure and feeling his peaceful breathing as I felt myself falling asleep again.

When I woke up again a few hours later he was looking at me with a grin on his face.  
"Good morning, pet."  
"Good morning... Why are you smiling like that? That's creepy."  
"You were having a nightmare and I comforted you."  
"So?"  
"So, you whispered my name, smiled and kissed me before continue sleeping."

I widened my eyes in shock "You must be kidding me. I was sleeping. I called your name maybe because you were my nightmare."  
"I highly doubt that love, but nevermind. You must be hungry. I know I am."

I stared at him bewildered and I got up because I was really starving "You want me to make something to eat?"  
"Your Midgardian food is nothing compared to Asgardian"  
"So milk and some toasts it is. Maybe some pancakes. Come on."  
“What are those pancakes you talk?”

I rolled my eyes and got out of bed, dressing some robe, covering my indecent clothes, and went to the kitchen to prepare a full breakfast with all the good food I could imagine, to prove him he was wrong. He was quiet. More than usual so I decided to talk:  
"Now, wanna tell me why you're back?"  
"I already told you. Conquering something else."  
"And why did you come for me? Please don't take me away again."  
"Oh, I promise you, next time you will want to come with me."  
"Why would I want to go anywhere with the man... or alien that kidnapped me, huh?"

He got up, with a grin across his face and approached me, cornering me against the furniture: "For the same reason you let me sleep on your bed last night. For the same reason, you prepared this magnificent food. For the same reason your body trembles when I touch your." He strokes my cheeks. "You want me around."  
"I think you're insane… and mistaken. I did this because... I'm afraid of you and what you might do if I don't please you"

He looked into my eyes and I felt the scent of his perfume, his nose almost touching mine and he finally said: "No you're not"

I whispered "No, I'm not" And, I don't why, I pulled his hair with my hand, pulling him to me and kissed him. It was a short and aggressive kiss, which I immediately stopped.  
"You see, love? You want me." He was grinning.  
"I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but I'm not in my right mind."  
"Alright, then. Farewell." He said abruptly before turning his back and heading for the door.  
"Where are you going?"  
"You don't want me here, do you? Why do you care where I'm going?"

I quickly realized that he had done that to trap me and I immediately replied: "Because I made breakfast and I cannot eat this all by myself."

He didn't say anything, just smirked, sat down by the table and started eating. I tried to make a conversation to break the silence:  
"So... Care to tell me what happened? I saw something on TV about Thor, dark elves and spaceships destroying Greenwich. What happened to you?"

Loki told me about what happened with Jane, about Thor releasing him from prison to avenge their mother's death and save Jane and how they did it and how he faked his death at the same time. He also told me about being disguised as Odin in Asgard. I asked him about Odin's localization but he only said he was safe and comfortable.  
"You're mean."  
"I am only repaying for what they did to me."  
"Your brother loves you. Even though you're..."

He interrupted me coldly "A monster. I know."  
"I was gonna say a mass murderer. Trust me, I know monsters. You're not one. You did wrong things. But you have something good inside you. I know I can feel it and I’m not wrong."

He made a sad expression and forced a smile “You actually think that? I don’t... Prove me wrong."

We looked at each other for some time and I courageously spoke: "You have love feelings. Monsters only know rage. You love your mother. You spoke so highly of her. She must have been quite a lady. You love your brother, even though you try not to show, which, I must say, you're failing miserably. You are angry at your father but you're in pain. I get that. I do. But I also get that you want to be accepted by him. You want to be loved and not deceived. You're not a monster. If you were you wouldn't care about your family and you wouldn't care about my wellbeing before, although you did kidnap me, that's not the point. I don't accept what you did to Earth, the people you killed. I think you're mad really. But I understand why you did it. But you're not a monster. Trust me, I would know."

He was silent. Speechless and shocked. His eyes were tearful, but he had a strong expression on his face.  
"I'm sorry if I talked too much, but you told me to prove you wrong. I tried," I smiled softly and he smiled back.  
"You're so young, yet so wise. You see more than meets the eye. You would love to meet Heimdal."  
"Who?"  
"Asgard's gatekeeper..." He remained quiet for a while: "What happened to you to make you like this?"  
"Like what?"  
"Sympathetic, Comprehensive. And fearless."  
"Trust me. I'm scared all the time"  
"Yet you don't fret me."  
"I think you wouldn't hurt me like..." I stopped myself otherwise I would speak too much.  
"Please continue."  
"I don't know if I can. Or if I should tell you. Who guarantees me that you would not use this against me in a near future?"  
"I do." He smiled softly and I broke down.   
"Loki... It's... It's just too much. My past is too dark and it hurts."  
"Cat... Maybe I am a monster and maybe I should be dead, maybe... But one thing I assure you, I will never hurt you or let anyone hurt you. Ever."  
"You already failed miserably, then," I said with a sad look on my face. I looked at him and he was quiet, signaling me to continue talking, "I was hurt before. A lot. When I was just a little girl... I was 12 when I was taken away from my parents. There was this man, a carpenter, working in our home. I loved construction so I was always around. My dad also worked inside the house, but one day he and my mom left for an hour, I was left alone with my uncles, across the street. But I came home and the man... He did something... He told me he wanted to play a game and that I had to look to the wall. He unbelts his pants and lowered his boxers and sat me down on his lap. I don't remember much but it was quick and he just -- did things on me. I ran away scared but didn't tell anything to my parents. I was too afraid. That was my mistake..."

I looked at Loki to see his reaction. He was flinching his wrists but didn't dare to take his eyes off me. I took a deep breath and continued: "Some days later, he finished his job, my parents paid him, without knowing what happened and he was gone for some time. One day, when my parents were outside chatting with my uncle and aunt, I was walking my dog behind the house, in the path that leads to the woods where we met. The man appeared out of nowhere and grabbed me by my mouth with a piece of cloth that had this substance that made me faint. When I woke up I was chained to this bed and I felt my body all sore. I didn't realize what happened until he arrived that room and unchained me. He raped me when I was passed out. And he raped me again when I woke up. And again... And again... He... he made me things... Horrible things..." I choke on my tears but somehow I was able to continue. "I was in captivity half a year. To be raped constantly, beaten and to starve. He said that if I eat less I would be weaker so he could use me whenever he wanted. I tried to run away many many times. I realized we were in an old exploration mine. It was so dirty and dark... and cold... I literally saw the light at the end of the tunnel every time I tried to run away but... he would always catch me. One day I saw an opportunity and I didn't waste it. He dropped a blade in one of his visits and I grabbed it without his notice. Next time he showed up, I was ready for him so I stabbed him in the neck several times, on his dick, on his face.... everywhere, there was so much blood... I remember my little white dirty dress painted red. And I ran. I ran as fast as I could and got help." 

Loki had a tear falling down his face and he asked weakly: "Where is that man, now?"  
"Unfortunately, when the police got there he was nowhere to be found. He was gone. I never saw him again... I spent all these years afraid all the time. Afraid that he would come back and finish what he started. Gosh, how I wanted him dead. I still do... God knows where he is now and what he must be doing to other kids" I wiped the tears from my face. "This feeling tortured me my whole life. I prayed for him to be dead when the police got there and I feel guilty for being unsuccessful. I... It was too much for me to bear sometimes... Too much..." I looked down to my wrists where I have scars not only from the chains and ropes he used on me but also from cuts that I did myself, trying to end my life.  
"You did that to yourself, Cat?"  
"I did. And I'm ashamed of it. But it's too much sometimes--."  
"You're alive, and that's something you shouldn't be ashamed of. It's his fault only. Not yours. Don't do that to you. Ever again."  
"How do you know? You don't know what was like... It wasn't only the rapping part. It worsened when he talked about how he killed his mother and sister and raped their dead bodies for days. How he buried them after. That's a real monster. He took my innocence. He even took my chance to have children one day." I put my hands in my belly, feeling a horrible sensation inside. "He took my chance of having a normal life... I can't even have a boyfriend like normal girls do. I can't trust anybody, I keep everyone away from me... I scare everyone. I’m not able to let anyone touch me without reminding myself about everything he has done to me. I can’t even love anyone, not even myself. Trying to kill myself was the only way to end this misery. Don't you understand?"  
"I do. But I am glad you were unsuccessful. You have to unlock your heart Cat, don't let darkness consume you as it did to me"  
"At least I tried to hurt me, not an entire planet." I smiled softly at him and he smiled back.  
"Let me help you."  
"Why would you do that?" I laughed at him but I noticed he was being serious.  
"I help you and you help me," He said with a grin on his face.  
"Help you with what?"  
"Being like you."  
"You don't want to be like me. Trust me. I'm me. It sucks."  
"Stop mocking me, pet. I'm talking a serious matter now. Come with me. To Asgard. Start a new life. Where no one needs to know about your past. You could be whoever you what to be."  
"What? Are you serious?"  
"I am." He said proudly.  
"Loki, that's madness."  
"Maybe you need a little madness in you life. Think about it. Don't say no just yet."  
“You're crazy... Anyway, what are your plans for today?"  
"I have no plans. I intend to go back to Asgard as soon as possible."  
"Oh, ok."  
"But... I think I might stay a while if you don't mind."  
"I don't have anything to do anyway. Just don't do something.... criminal, ok?"  
"I'll try to behave, love. But I make no promises" He said that with a grin on his face.

We spent the rest of the morning talking. He talked more about Asgard, about his plans to make it prosper. He said his father was a great king but was becoming old and stubborn and afraid of changes but in his opinion that's wrong. They should embrace changes in order to survive.  
"What you're gonna do about your father? You're not keeping him away for too long are you?"  
"My... Odin must retire. He is too old and tired. He should stay where he is"  
"But... Don't you want to talk to him? To make peace with everything? Imagine if he dies and you didn't get the chance to say how sorry you are."  
"How sorry I am? I'm not sorry. He's the one who lied to me."  
"Yet you resent your brother, your mother and made us pay the price."

He shot me a warning glare but I didn't mind it: "I'm just saying. Make peace with it. With him... With yourself. You said you wanted me to help you. The first step is to learn to forgive and to ask sorry for your actions."  
"I'll think about that if you think about what I proposed you."

I rolled my eyes at him.  
"He may not be your father in blood, but I really believe you have inherited his stubbornness."

The conversation was over and we spent the rest of the evening watching a movie and eating popcorn. Sometimes Loki would approach me, touching me with his leg or his arm. He was trying to be subtle, but I noticed. When the movie was over he said: "This is what you Midgardians do for fun?"  
"Not only, but yes. Why? Did it bore you?"  
"Oh no. I'm honored to spend time with you, love. But your notion of fun is not comparable to mine."  
"Oh really? What do you do for entertainment?"  
"I play tricks to others. I drink and eat and dance. Well, not actually, but I do like to watch others dancing."  
"I'll show you what I usually do for fun. Tonight at 9 AM. Meet me at the end of the street, but now you must go. My mother will be here at any minute. Is it ok?"  
"It's fine by me. Don't think your mother would like to have a famous mass murder God at dinner."  
"Ya think?" I laughed. "What you're gonna do meanwhile?"  
"I'm gonna find someone," He said with an evil grin across his face.  
"Ooooh. I don't like that face"  
"Don't worry about me, pet."  
"Trust me. It's not you I'm worried about."

He didn't respond and just vanished, leaving me alone in the house with my mind racing.


	12. Chapter 12

I had dinner with my mother but I kept looking at the clock, impatient about our date. _Date? What the hell? It wasn’t a date._ I just wanted to show him things about Human life. Right? When the clock was at 9 PM I decided to go out, Loki should be already expecting me. I really hoped he didn't do anything stupid, but he's Loki. We can only wonder…

I got inside my car, a black Suzuki Baleno and drove out of my house, down the street. As I expected, Loki was there waiting for me. I leaned in, opened the door and told him to get in. He did so, but a bit reluctant.  
"So, where are we going?"  
"To the place where I go to have fun and to other places where I go to find some peace"

I couldn't shake the feeling there was something off. He had this malicious but serious look on his face, but he was talking softly with me.  
"So... What did you do while I was having dinner?  
"You will learn soon."  
"Something tells me it wasn't a good thing"  
"And you're correct. But it was necessary"  
"Care to tell me what?"  
"You are stubborn, aren't you?"  
"Yes. I could not let you be the only one"  
"You are lucky I'm fond of you. Otherwise, you would be expecting severe punishment back in Asgard."  
"So it's good we're on Earth then"

He was about to talk but I interrupted him: "We're here" I took him to a dance club by the beach. But this club was peculiar. It only passed music from the 70s, 80s, and 90s and it has dancers among the clients to entertain. We entered the club and we were immediately approached by two girls that put a flowers necklace around our necks. Loki froze while the girls gave him seductive looks.  
"Are all of the Midgardian women like that?"  
"Some. Nowadays they have no shame and throw themselves to any men, even without knowing them."  
"That is despicable and unworthy." I saw a repugnance look on his face.  
"Yeah, it is... But there are still great women out there."  
"Like you?"

I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say: "No... well, yeah... But I don't do this kind of stuff. Uh --. Want something to drink?"

He laughed at my embarrassing moment and just replied: "No. I'm good."  
"Ok... You're welcome" I rolled my eyes. 

He was looking around inhaling the view. There were some people that were chatting and others were dancing like crazy.  
"You want to dance?"  
"Dance? You call this dancing?" He laughed.  
"Uh yeah! This is what I call "have some fun and forget about your problems."  
"No, THANK YOU. I'm good."

I rolled my eyes while Loki looked around. He didn't want to dance but I did. So I approached a group of girls that I know from around and started to dance with them. I felt Loki stare but didn't even looked at him. 

Meanwhile, the DJ put a slow romantic dance and I stopped dancing. I was about to walk towards Loki, but there was this big guy that approached me and asked me to dance. I said no, obviously. This kind of dance meant to have physical contact with him and I didn't want to. When I was about to leave he grabbed my arm:  
"What? You're too good for me?"  
"Let me go!"  
"Dance with me and I'll let you go."

I tried to get away from his grip but he was hurting my arm. When he tried to pull me to an embrace to make me dance, he was pulled away by someone.  
"I believe the lady said no" Loki said calmly.  
"Are you her boyfriend? I don't think so. This bitch is mine tonight."

When he was about to turn around to me again, Loki grabbed his arm and twisted on his back:  
"Let me be clear. You get your filthy face out of this building. You do not talk to her again. You do not dare to even look at her again. If I see you around this club I will suck that life of yours with a dagger across your neck and I will dance on the top that empty head of yours. Do you understand?" He pulled more strongly the guy's arm "DO YOU understand?" I heard the guy screaming in pain and yelling "YES YES". 

Loki let him go with a push and stared at him while he was leaving the club in a hurry. He turned to me: "Are you ok. Did that bastard harm you?"

I didn't say a word and headed to the exit, followed by him.  
"Love, are you alright?"  
"I do. I'm sorry about that... Thank you"  
"You have nothing to apologize for. Only that rat."  
"Thank you"

He smiled at me. "So, where were you taking me next?"  
"You still want to go?"  
"Definitely."

I took my shoes off and started to walk in the sand. Even though there was a dance club around, the beach was one of the quietest ones in the city. He imitated me and followed my steps. We walked for about 10 minutes, not talking to each other. Only listening to the sound that the waves made and looking at the dark sky full of stars. We were illuminated only by the moonlight but it was enough to see our way.  
"You're quiet," He said finally.  
"When I come here is because I need some quiet. And when I need to be alone."  
"Oh. I apologize."  
"You can talk. And I can be alone with you here" I smiled at him.  
"Yeah, much better thank you" He rolled his eyes. "Finally something more of my liking."  
"What?"  
"This beach. This sea. This walk. This is indeed a good way to enjoy our time."  
"I thought you were more a party guy. Or god."  
"I like them too. But this is more of my liking. I'm not particularly fond of having women rubbing themselves on me like they are some kind of cats."

I chuckled and he became confused.  
"What?"  
"Usually men like that."  
"So male humans don't like a modest woman?"  
"Oh no. This is so stupid and, believe me, I can't understand it either. Most of them already told me they like to see these ... kind of women. But they don’t want their women to do the same. They like to see other women practically naked on the street, but their women can't do that. And because of that, they don’t value what they have. At least until they lose them... Hypocrisy if you ask me."  
"You said you never had a man in your life. How do you know that?"  
"And I haven't. They are all so… similar. So... stupid. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of good men out there and good women too. But, I don't think I'm able to have a real relationship in my life. At least not a normal one."  
"And why is that?"  
"You know why... Besides, what kind of relationship can I have if I can't even let any man touch me?"

We stopped our walk and sat down on the sand, facing the waves. "I touched you before."  
"You're different." I laughed.  
"Right, right. I am not a man, I'm a god." He smiled proudly.

I coughed on purpose and interrupted him:  
"Uhuh, Demi-god. But it's not because of that. I don't know what it is. But you're different."  
"So... That means I can touch you" He had a grin on his face and was trying to put an arm around me.  
"Whoa, hold there cowboy," I said scolding him and throwing him sand to his legs.  
"At least I tried," He said while he lifted both arms in defeat and had a mischievous look on his eyes.

I was about to ask why he had that look when I felt sand being thrown at my back, but there was no one around us. I immediately realized he used magic to do it and I gave him a warning look before I did the same to him using the powers I've been practicing.  
"Wow, I'm impressed." He said.  
"Because I threw sand at you? Imagine if I did this then." I made some gestures with my hands and invoked water that I immediately threw at his face. 

He opened his mouth in shock.  
"You know you will eventually pay for that."  
"What you're gonna do?" I laughed at him watching him getting up and holding me a hand. I took his hand and got up, thinking he wanted to go home. When I did that he immediately pick me up, put me on his shoulders and ran towards the sea. I squealed for him to stop but it was hard to talk while I was laughing so hard. He didn't throw me, he put me on his arms bride-style and entered the cold water until it reached his waist level. He put me down and I threw water at his face and ran away back to the sand. He started to run after me and quickly caught me, causing me to fall on the floor where he fell right on top of me. We were laughing when we were on the floor but stopped when our eyes locked on each other. We didn't move, or kiss or did anything else. We just stayed there, soaking wet staring at each other. He gently brushed my wet hair out of my face and caressed my cheeks slightly, making me flinch a little. After some time he said:  
"You are indeed the most amazing and intriguing creature I've ever known."  
"Why is that?"  
"Your body tries to push me away, but your eyes betray you. Every time."

I didn't answer and he leaned closer and planted a soft kiss on my forehead and planted more across my nose until he reaches for my lips. He slowly parted his lips and I did the same as I closed my eyes. It was a slow kiss, nothing like the previous ones. This one was sweet, full of caring and not demanding. After some time he pushed away slightly and whispered:  
"Although I do enjoy this moment, you should get dry clothes, otherwise you'll be sick."

I still had my eyes closed and was enjoying the moment. My head was empty. No thoughts. No fears. No dark emotions. He was being kind and sweet with me. He wasn't pushing me or forcing me. Letting someone be this close to me was hard but it felt so good. The moment ended when Loki got up and helped me to get on my feet. I was a bit dizzy because of the kiss but he held me close, avoiding my fall. He twisted his fingers and my clothes dried immediately. I thanked him and we walked holding each other and heading for the car.

I drove home, hoping the night never end but on our way he started to talk: "I'll be gone soon."  
"To Asgard?"  
"Yes"  
"When?"  
"When I let you in your bed safe and sound."

I gasped a bit: "Will you be back any time soon?"  
"Why? Miss me already?" He grinned.  
"I just... had a really good time."  
"Are you talking about the kiss, the walk on the beach or anything else in particular?" He mocked me and I rolled my eyes.  
"All of it. It was... refreshing." He nodded for me to go on so I continued: "Believe me or not, I never had a good time like this before. Never walked on the beach with anyone. Or confined on anyone as I did with you. Maybe I'll regret it, but it is easier when I'm with you." I stopped and looked at his serious expression: "You think I'm crazy or too sentimental or cringy. I'm sorry."  
"Nonsense. I am happy to hear those fine words coming from your heavenly mouth. And I did enjoy our time together."  
"All good things come to an end. Anyway, thank you for being kind to me."  
"No need to thank me. I must be the one to thank you. While I was with you, there was no rage, no sadness nor any other dull feeling. I forgot everything. Believe me when I say this: in all my thousands of years of existence, I never ever longed for a company like yours."  
"Either do I." I smiled at him but the smile fades away when I was arriving at my street.  
"Cat. There's something I need to confess... I've done something..."

He was interrupted when I saw blue intermittent lights in front of my house.  
"Loki. Go, now. Maybe they found out you're with me. SHIELD has been watching me. Vanish now."  
"I do not believe that's the reason. I did s--"  
"Loki. Thank you for the moments we passed, but you need to go... To be safe."

He sighed in defeat and kissed my forehead before saying: "Please, do not think less of me. Do not forget the good time we had. And, please, see what you're about to learn as a way to move on with your wonderful life." He planted a kiss on my lips before vanishing.

When I entered my garage and got inside my house, there was two police officers and my mother looking worried at me. I recomposed myself and asked: "What is happening?" I quickly recognized the two officers. They were the ones that saved me and accompanied me during the tribunal case about my abduction. I felt shivers running down my spine.  
"Cat, we have news..."  
"What?"  
"We found him."

There was a knot in my throat and I ran away towards the bathroom to puke. My mother got into the bathroom and hugged me.  
"Somebody beat him up ... He was tortured and dumped naked at the police door, with a paper saying who he is. He's practically immobilized ... he has some cuts, broken bones and... he's been castrated."

I widened my eyes and quickly realized that it had been Loki's work. Though I mentally cursed him, I also thanked him for what he had done. My mother snapped me out of my thoughts: "Honey. When he gets better, you will testify against him and put him away where he belongs. It's almost over."

After getting myself clean and talk to the officers I went to bed and tried to sleep. I couldn’t believe in what happened and felt so dizzy. Too many emotions for one day. Even though I was glad they found him and he could never hurt me, I was afraid to see him again face to face. I found myself wishing Loki was there with me and when I testify... And my thoughts went all to Loki before I peacefully fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

*** 1 month later ***

I never saw Loki after that night. We had a great time together and something attracted me to him. After some time I started to fear that he has forgotten about me. However, I kinda felt like there was a presence with me all the time and occasionally I received some bouquet of flowers with a little card only saying "L." which make smile because that proves he thinks about me.

This last month passed very fast. My lawyer and I had many meetings to be able to make an accusation against my abductor. I confess that I'm terrified of having to see him again, I just wanted Loki to be by my side when this happens, but I know it will not be possible.

The day of the first hearing had come but the accused was not present, much to my relief. I was listened for a whole day by the lawyers, the judge, and the jury. I had to tell them my story, with the details of all the atrocities I suffered. We had to stop the audience a few times because I was too nervous, but the judges understood my pain and were very kind to me. The worst part was when I had to see pictures from the day the police found me. Photos of the old exploration mine where I was trapped, photos of the bed I was chained to ... where that man took away my innocence. It made me cry all the time, but luckily the day was over sooner than I expected.

When I got out of court, I didn't feel like going home. I decided to go to the beach where I took Loki last time we were together. The beach was empty, which was good ... I could cry alone. I sat on the sand, barefoot, and felt the cold sand on my feet. The weather had cooled and it looked like it was going to rain. But the only drops I could feel were my tears falling from my face.

That man broke me in every way possible. I grew up fearing his return but that day never came. Sometimes I thought that maybe he had already died with a horrible disease. Am I too bad to think that way? Was it bad that I wanted that man to suffer more than he made me suffer if that’s even possible? Thanks to him, here I am, a young woman with a future ahead and didn’t live her life as normal girls do. No. I was never able to make friends with anybody. I never had a boyfriend. Probably because I didn’t let anyone near me. People didn’t know how I suffered and would always go away. But can blame them? I built this big wall around me and now I can’t tear them down. 

Then there’s Loki. A mass murderer alien, that killed lots of people because of a family discussion. Seeing things that way it sounds horrible, but considering that they are practically gods, maybe these actions aren’t so absurd to them. I don’t know. I just know that the person Loki really is has nothing to do with what people think about him. He just needed love and closure with his past. And his parents didn’t know how to treat him, knowing he isn’t really their blood’s son.

Why do things need to be so complicated?

My head was full with thoughts and I couldn’t pick one to think about. So I tried to clear my mind and look at the horizon for quite some time until I felt someone sitting next to me. I wasn’t startled or something, I know that right now I can defend myself with magic if it was necessary. But when I looked to see that person I was petrified when I saw the concerned face of Loki.  
“You're here…” I said almost whispering.  
“I'm here, for you, love... Why are you crying? Those tears break my heart each time they fall from your eyes.”

I leaned my head on his shoulder, looking back to the horizon. We didn’t talk for a while but I could sense Loki wanting to say something. I guess he managed to make sound through his mouth when he finally asked: “ I assume you're not mad at me for what I did to that bastard…”  
“I was. But also I was relieved… I -- don’t know if I can handle it right now. I feel so lost.”  
“Shhh, I'm here now love.”  
“This is going to be hard... I don't know if I can handle it, Loki.”  
“I could kill him you know? I had to hold myself in order to keep him alive... But I can finish him if you let me.”  
“No... I have to do this the right way Loki... And he doesn't deserve to die... He deserves to stay alive and to suffer... But it's so hard to go through this again.”  
“I apologize for making you remember all of this over again, but you needed to stop looking over your shoulder. That is not a way to live. You are the strongest being I've ever met. Trust me. If there's someone who can handle this, it is you.”  
“Would you stay with me?”  
“Always.”


	14. Chapter 14

We remain clung to each other in a comforting embrace. His touch was the only thing that sweeps me off my feet and he was the only one that calmed me down. We didn’t say another word for some time more, the kisses that were planted here and there spoke for themselves. I knew I would eventually have to go home but that meant Loki would have to leave and I didn't want that. He noticed my discomfort and asked me what was I thinking.  
“When will you go back to Asgard? “  
“When you don't need me anymore.”  
“What if I need you forever?” I smiled at him and he smiled back.  
“Then forever it is.”  
“Don't you need to go back to Asgard?”

He paused some time before he answered me: “I followed your advice. I talked to Fa .. Odin. We came to some agreements and made truces. For now.”

I lifted my head off his shoulder with a grin on my face.  
“Seriously? That's fantastic!”  
“Yes Yes. Do not be too happy. He's still an old fool. However, he was happy to return to Asgard and gave me my freedom again. He has decided not to tell anyone about -- what happened since the Dark Elves. An act of goodwill on his part, according to what he says.”  
“Oh, don’t play hard. You are happy. You're relieved. Lighter. I can feel that.”  
“And you continue to read me too well…” He kissed my forehead. “He wants to meet you. And he gave permission for you to come to Asgard. Even to move there...”  
“What? You told your father about me?”  
“He wanted to know why I changed so much. And that a statue should be built in honor of the one who changed me.” 

I started to laugh with the disgusted face he did and I hugged him, whispering to his ears: “I'm very proud of you ... And I would like to meet your father. But I think there's still something you need to do.”  
“Oh, It is? What?”  
“Forgive yourself.”

He stared at me very perplexed but didn't respond. To ease the moment I continued to speak:  
“Besides, you have to do something first. Something very difficult and it might be even dangerous”  
“What?”  
“To meet my mother.”  
“Yes, that might be dangerous.” He laughed but stayed serious immediately. “But did you think about coming to Asgard?”  
“I did, but not yet Loki. I have to finish this, once and for all. I need closure.”  
“And I'll be waiting for you.”

I kissed him softly on his lips and closed my eyes when I felt his warmth embracing me. I kissed him gently for some time but he stopped and told me to close my eyes. I did as I told and I felt some strong wind sucking me away and suddenly I felt cold.  
“What is happening?” I was about to open my eyes but he put his hands on them to stop me. “Hey!”I shouted.  
“It is a surprise, love. Here, you will be warmer.“ I felt some kind of warm jacket on my body and then he released his grip from my eyes. I opened them slowly and I realized we weren't on the beach anymore. We were at some tall mountains with a lot of snow on the floor and falling down from the sky.  
“You said you never saw real snow in your life. Now you do.”

I was mesmerized and couldn't even talk. I could only look around me with a huge grin on my face and I let myself fall on the floor, on the cold snow while I laughed. But before I hit the floor I grabbed Loki's hand and pulled him down with me.  
“This is amazing Loki. Thank you so much... I don't know what I did to you to be so good and kind to me... But thank you…” I looked at him with a more serious tone.  
“Anything for you. You deserve it, love... You made me see the better side of life... You made me what to live. I'm glad I knew you. You made me better. I wanted to suppress what I was feeling for you because I was scared of it, but now I'm not. Not anymore.”  
“Loki... I-- thank you for everything, really. But... look at me... I'm broken. I could never give you what you need. One day you'll want more and I don't know if I have it in me. I don't want you to be unhappy.”

He turned to me and cupped my face, still lying on the floor:  
“Your simple breathing makes me happy. And I promise you, I will always be patient with when it concerns you. I do not wish to force you into something you do not want. If your desire is to not be with me, I will respect that. But please, I beg you, give me the chance to make you happy.  
“I want to... I really do... You make me feel things I never felt before. I tried to meet people, to have relationships, but I couldn't. I would always push people away, people that cared about me.”  
“If they really cared about you they would never leave. I am not going anywhere. And I will not let you push me away. I will be here, with you. Let me, please.”  
“I have to finish this trial and put that son of a bitch in jail ... Then we can see where this” I gestured my hand to his chest and to mine. “is going... And we will start by meeting your father. In Asgard.”

His smile came back and he filled me with kisses as he pulled me into his embrace. We lay there watching the snow fall and we still spent some time throwing snow at each other as we laughed out loud. If that was heaven, I want to die.

At the end of the day we had to go back to my land and I had to go back home. I needed a good resting night because the next day the defendant would be heard in court and then it was the last meeting before the judges made a decision. Then there will be a meeting where I would see his horrific face. The lawyers were confident that we would get a maximum penalty for the crime, but I wanted to wait until I heard the judge's decision.

Loki returned to Asgard after our meeting and promised to return the next day to meet my mother and to spend the night with me before the hearing the following morning. I knew it was going to be a difficult day, but nothing compared to what it really was.


	15. Chapter 15

The next day I tried my best not to think about the trial. But it seemed impossible as I started to receive phone calls from Natasha, Tony, and Bruce. They heard about it. Of course, they knew about everything about my past. They are SHIELD. They said they didn’t tell me that they knew because they didn’t want me to feel uncomfortable. I thanked them for their calls and for caring but the conversation with Bruce was more interesting.  
“Cat, I got a secure line to talk you with. No one is listening to this phone call. First of all, how are you holding?”  
“I am ok Bruce. It’s hard but it’s ok”  
“Look, I’m gonna cut the shit out. They know Loki turned that bastard in. They know Loki is back to Earth and he wants something. They can’t find out what it is but it seems that Odin forgave him and released him. Has he come to you?”  
“What if I say yes?”  
“Please be careful Cat. He is dangerous.”  
“He is. But not with me Bruce. He is different now.”  
“If SHIELD finds out about him… Cat, if he does something bad they will come after you, you know that?”

I know that he was just worried about me and that’s why I wasn’t mean to him but I assured him Loki was fine and that he knew very well what he did was wrong. Bruce hoped I was right but he was still worried. “I know you had a hard time with Loki, Bruce. But he is peaceful now.”  
“Yeah? Tell that to the world. For him to be forgiven and accepted he should come forward to SHIELD”  
“Are you out of your mind? They would lock him”  
“No. I wouldn’t let that happen. For you. I am trying to convince Fury and Tony to rehabilitate Loki and somehow use him as our ally in case something big happens. And I know it will happen.”  
“How do you intend to do that?” I heard someone talking and he was silent for some time.  
“Look, I can’t talk anymore. Don’t call this number. I’ll reach you soon when I have news about this plan. Think about what I told you.”

I said my goodbyes to him before he quickly turns off the call. Maybe his idea wasn’t bad after all. Maybe Loki could even walk on the street without being arrested. I would have to talk with him about this and something tells me he will be inclined to refuse.

Anyhow, I helped my mother with her dinner preparation, waiting for Loki’s arrival. I told my mother she would meet someone special and she was thrilled. But I had to tell her who he was. And then she was not so thrilled. Wasn’t easy to convince her to do this dinner, but she eventually accepted it. After all, it was the first time I would take someone home. Even if it was an alien. A mass murderer alien.

I felt his presence right away when he arrived. I don’t know why I can sense these things but lately, I’ve been experiencing things that I can’t explain. I was waiting for him by the door when he arrived. He smiled at me, took my knuckles in his mouth and planted in them a soft kiss. I then introduced him to my mother and she actually enjoyed his polite behavior. He was dressed like a normal human being. Black jeans and a dark green t-shirt. How original. 

My mother decided to embarrass me as she started to show Loki pictures of me when I was younger. We were laughing about the stories she was telling us when I received a phone call. It was my lawyer. My heart skipped a beat when I picked it up and heard what he had to say to me.  
“He claimed mental problems. He has a letter from a psychiatric clinic that proves his health problem.”  
“What? What does that mean?”  
“That means they will not lock him away in a normal prison. He would go to a mental institution, kinda like a prison but with more lunatics.”  
“He should be in jail. He should suffer for what he has done. He wasn't crazy, he is just a monster.”  
"Don’t worry, I believe he will be locked away for the rest of his life, even in a mental institution. See you tomorrow at court. Rest, it’s going to be a long day”.

After that call I was wishing to go to bed quickly and Loki understood it without me saying a word. My mother went to her bed soon after that call unaware of my anxiety and Loki stayed with me in my bed. He didn’t ask me anything as he just caressed my hair.  
“Loki…”  
“Yes, my love?”  
“There is something I need to talk with you.” I saw his worried eyes and I relaxed him. “Don’t worry, it’s not bad. I think. I talked with Dr. Banner today. Bruce?” He nodded me, showing he was following my words. “Well, he told me things about SHIELD. In a secure line for no one to listen. Well, SHIELD knows about Odin letting you go and they kinda know you turned that shitty man to the police.” He widened his eyes but he didn’t seem surprised. Thor would have told them about his freedom. “The thing is, Bruce knows that there’s something between us. He knows it since you kidnapped me…”  
“Wise man. Or may I say, a man in love?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“For him to care for you in such a small period of time I can assume he has feelings for you. I cannot blame him. But I will kill him before he even thinks about trying anything with you.”  
“WHOA. Hold your horses.” He looked at me puzzled and I rolled my eyes. “He just wants to help you. Us.”  
“How can the big green temperamental half man do that?”

I rolled my eyes again with his jealousy behavior and told him about Bruce proposition. He made lots of facial expressions and his left brow was lifted.  
“Cat, do you think they would make our lives easy? You do not think they will let us be together any time we want, do you? They will fake something to blame me for and lock me away.”  
“Bruce won’t let them. He promis--”  
“Bruce. Bruce. Bruce. I’m starting to dislike the monster.”  
“Loki! He is not a monster. And stop with that jealousy crap.”

He crossed his arms like he was pouting and I hugged him. “Don’t worry about it Loki. I think he sees me as a little sister. And he never did anything to prove me wrong. Trust me.”

After some time he closed his eyes and sighed, opening his arms to embrace me. “I apologize. You are the most precious thing in my life and I can't even think about not having you by my side.”  
I sighed and closed my eyes, feeling my face against his chest. “Tomorrow it’s going to be hard for me, you know that.” He nodded silently at me. “I wanted to have you there with me, but people know your face. You would cause panic.”  
“That would be amusing. But, do not worry that beautiful head of yours. I can disguise myself to anyone or anything I want” He saw my amazed face and laughed. He slowly started to turn himself into Tony Stark and then he was Natasha and then he was Hitler. WTF? And then he was Loki again.  
“I think if you went as Hitler people would be even more afraid.”  
“Are you saying I’m not terrifying as that man?”  
“Not really. No. I think it’s the mustache.”

He looked at me for a while with an expression I couldn’t decipher but he started to laugh and I joined him. For some time I didn’t think about anything else. The trial, Bruce proposition. Nothing. I was feeling fine, like never before and I just wanted to stay like this forever.


	16. Chapter 16

I was right. The next day was hard. I woke up feeling my dry throat as I tried to say Good Morning to Loki, but I realized I was feeling more nervous than I should, not being able to say a word with wanting to vomit. After a long shower, I got ready for the trial but I couldn’t eat anything, much against my mother’s and Loki’s will. 

Before I left the house with my mother I went to my room to talk alone with Loki. I asked him to be discreet if he went to the court and he assured me he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize my trial. After tons and tons of kisses, I finally left the house, arriving soon after to the court doors.

I closed my eyes, breathing in the smell of the autumn mixed with gasoline from the cars passing by the street. I sighed and opened my eyes, making my first step inside that hell of a building. When I got inside, my lawyer was already waiting for and nodded me to enter the room door where I saw the jury already there, some people sitting including my mom and we headed for the front of the room, sitting by the right table. 

My lawyer put a hand on my back to give me strength and I don’t know how long I’ve been holding that breath but I exhaled sharply as I gave him a soft smile. At the corner of my eye, something caught my attention. I saw Bruce Banner sitting in a chair, next to my mom. But something about him was different, his posture his mischievous smile and his deep look. I realized it wasn’t really Bruce, but he was indeed Loki disguised. I rolled my eyes at his choice and I knew he made that to make me smile so I just nodded at him and he nodded back.

After some time of waiting the judge finally entered the court and told the guards to let the prisoner in. My heart skipped a beat, the floor ran away from my feet, my head was dizzy as I looked at that monster entering the room. When he made eye contact with me there was a grin on his face and I widened my eyes, feeling my tears falling to the floor. I didn’t manage to understand what was happening when that man fell on the floor, grabbing his head and screaming “Make it stop!” “It hurts”. I turned to “Bruce” and saw him staring at the man with a dangerous look and I realized it was his doing. I automatically yelled “STOP IT” and everyone thought I was talking to that man but Loki knew better and he finally stopped hurting him.  
“Let’s get start with this trial once and for all.” The judge impatiently said.

My lawyer was the first to talk and he directed his speech to the jury, showing them pictures of me at a baby age before I was kidnapped and pictures of me when police rescued me. It was hard to look, but I lived my life with those images in my head. After a long speech about my miserable life due to that man’s act, he said to the jury “I don’t know who turned that monster in, but god bless that person, for now, Catarina can make peace with it and have closure in her life.” 

Jury’s faces were of pure sadness looking at me and I couldn’t help but let those tears fall. But then it was his lawyer turn to talk. He didn’t try to defend his client, he just tried to ease the penalty, claiming he was a sick man and wasn’t aware of his own actions. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and rage was building inside me. Somehow I managed to calm down when the judge said there would be a break for the jury to decide. So we just left the room until we got called in.

I was leaning against the cold wall of the corridor as my lawyer and mother were talking to each other. “Bruce” was by my side and whispering to me.  
“I apologize for before. I heard his thoughts and I wanted to kill him there.”  
“Wait. What? Why would you hear his thoughts? I told you not to do that. It is not ok. Not even with that monster.”  
“He deserves worse than death and you know it.”

Somehow I know it is true. He does deserve it. But it was wrong. Life should take its own course. When I was about to tell him that we got called in. Just me, the lawyers and the monster. I sighed and entered the court, preparing myself for the worst scenario possible.  
“Raise up please,” The judge said. “The jury had made a decision. Considering what both Catarina and Joseph told” That’s the name of the monster. “and respective lawyers they have come to the conclusion the Joseph Peter Smith is considered guilty of all charges, with and sentenced to life imprisonment, starting immediately.” Then he hit his hammer on the table, ending the trial.

All of my air got out of my lungs like bullets and my lawyer was almost jumping up and down as the guards took the monster away. I sat down in my chair, closed my eyes and sighed in relief. It was over. All my fears could go away. I could be free. I would never again look over my shoulder afraid of him being there. Never again. I got up, with confidence and got out of the room to a worried mother and a smiling “Bruce”. After telling them the results, my mother hugged me and cried harder than me but Loki already knew about the sentence so he just stayed there watching us both.

When we got out of the court it was already past lunchtime, so we decided to get some food from McDonald’s.  
“What is that McDonald's thing?” Loki asked very curiously.  
“You have been alive for thousands of years and never wanted to know about Earth food? I feel offended. McDonald’s is the most amazing plastic food you can fatten with.”  
“Plastic food? You want me to eat plastic?”  
“Oh god. Loki, plastic food is bad food, bad for your health.”  
“If it is bad, why would you eat that?” He looked at me with a disgusted expression. I and my mother laughed at his naivety and he gave us a puzzled look.  
“Bad for health, but tastes divine. You’ll see, trust me.”

He didn’t say anything else and I decided to order a Big Mac, a Royal Bacon and a Big Tasty and then we went home. Loki didn’t even talk while he was eating and I could see in his face the satisfying look as he tasted all of the hamburgers we ordered. I smiled as I watched him finish his food and I regretted not ordering more. 

The rest of the evening I passed it with Loki inside my room. We were in bed all day, hugging and kissing each other and talking about everything. After some time I thought it was time to talk with him again about Bruce’s proposition.  
“Did you think about it?”  
“About what love?”  
“About my conversation with Bruce. His proposition.” I noticed his discomfort and I added. “It’s ok if you don’t want it. But have you thought about it?”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. “I don’t think I could have any kind of future with you if I’m not wanted on Earth. Either big green man is right and he is able to save me or we can only have a future in Asgard.”  
“You’re saying you’re willing to accept it?”  
“If that’s what you wish. I live to serve you, my love. Your happiness is my life purpose.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. “If you think it’s the right thing to do, I will do as you wish as long as you’re mine.”  
“I am yours, Loki. And I won’t let you go away from me.”  
“I don’t intend to go anywhere, Love.” And he kissed my lips with so much passion that I believed everything would be fine forever.


	17. Chapter 17

Some days after the trial I was at home with Loki when I received a phone call from an unknown number. I picked it up and it was Bruce.  
“Oh, hi Bruce.” Loki rolled his eyes when he heard his name and I did the same to him.  
“Hi, Cat. We know about the trial… Finally no?”  
“You don’t even know. It is over finally. But I’m sure you didn’t call me to talk about that.” I heard him laugh and he replied immediately.  
“No, I’m not.” I put the call in the speakers so Loki could hear it. “I’ve been trying to do what I told you and somehow we managed to convince the government, SHIELD, and Fury to accept it. They agreed Loki would be more useful as an ally than an enemy.”  
“How did you convinced Fury? That had to be hard.”  
“Now that you ask…. It wasn’t that hard… He seemed like he already wanted that.” He became quiet like he was thinking about it.  
“Well, it doesn’t matter. Even if they didn’t accept it, Loki is not an enemy anymore.”  
“We believe you.”  
“We?” I asked as I heard someone else talking on the phone.  
“Hello, little pie,” Tony said. “How are you?”

I was speechless and Loki was too. We looked into each eye, both of us puzzled and Tony finally said.  
“His reindeer games there? Hey, ex-alien-enemy. If you can see with your unlimited abilities I’m waving a with a white napkin as a peace sign.” I sighed as I saw Loki’s expression. This won’t be easy. Oh boy…  
“Bruce?” I asked.  
“Yeah, I’m sorry, they insisted in talking to you too.”  
“They?”  
“The Avengers are here… hearing you” He said slowly as if he was afraid of finishing his sentence.  
“Good. Anything else I should know?”  
“I’m sorry. But they agreed immediately with the proposition and Thor was so thrilled that he even wanted to go visit you both.”  
“Uninvited as always” Loki murmured but not quite enough not to be heard.  
“Brother!!! I am truly happy for knowing you are courting a Midgardian. It is truly honorable” I facepalmed myself as Loki let himself fall on the bed and sigh in disapproval.  
“Bruce, how much have you told them?”  
“Well -- after they agreed with the proposition they filled me with questions and I thought it shouldn’t be a secret between the team. I’m sorry, but it was for the better.”  
“Uhg… It’s ok. What did Fury say?”

There was silence. “I can’t believe you lied to Fury. That’s a sin you know?”

This time it was Natasha talking. “Cut the mocking talk, when will I be able to give you a hug and punch Loki on his face?” I smiled at her words and it fades away as I saw the shocked look on Loki’s face.  
“Whenever you want?” I said with a careful tone. But the only thing I heard was the call ending and some noise at my door. I opened it and was astonished when I saw all of them smiling at me, there, at my door.  
“What? We said Thor wanted to visit you both. I didn’t say we weren’t coming along.” Tony finally said.

I looked back because I heard a groan. Loki already knew they were there and he didn’t like the idea. Not a bit. I let them enter my house and headed for my room, where Loki was lying in my bed, hands over and under his head, looking at the ceiling.  
“Brother!!!!” Thor ran to Loki and gave him a pat on his chest. “I’m glad you finally found yourself. I hope.”  
“Always so subtle brother,” Loki said with sarcasm on his voice.

Tony took his white napkin from his pocket and waved it at Loki, who rolled his eyes as I did. Bruce hugged me for a while and I could feel daggers from Loki’s eyes while he watched us.  
“Thank you, Bruce. I hope I don’t regret this decision”  
“Trust us.”  
“I know what Loki did. It was awful and horrible. I know people are scared of him. They should. He is dangerous,” I looked at Loki who was puzzled looking at me. “He knows that too. But he also knows what he did was wrong. He took his rage on us and he was condemned for it. But he found something he didn’t know before. Forgiveness and love. That rage is slowly going away. It’s not an easy way to go, but it is the best and the right one. And he wants to make it. He just needs our help. Whether he admits it or not. Redemption is not easy.” I turned to him. “People will doubt you. You will doubt yourself. It is the way it is.” Then I turned to The Avengers. “But I promise you. If anyhow something goes against our deal or I find out about someone trying to fuck his life here, rest assured, Loki and I will flee, far away. I won’t leave him alone. And don’t you dare say no.”

They were all speechless but Loki had this caring and dangerous expression looking at me. Dangerous in a good way. Dangerous like dangerously in love. He thought that I was the most incredible being in the universe. The most caring and the strongest one. And somehow The Avengers felt that too. I would protect him no matter what. 

Tony was the first to talk. “Remind me to put her giving the motivational speech on missions. Anyway, little pie, are still weirdo like him?” He pointed to Loki and he noticed our puzzled looks and he finished his sentence. “Magic powers and stuff?”

Loki started to laugh and finally opened his mouth to speak. “If she wanted she would rip that piece of trash you call heart in seconds. I even dare to say, she’s becoming more powerful than I am.”

The Avengers turned to me with curious looks and I gave them a forced smile. “Yes, I’ve been training and I can say that I managed to control them. Why?”  
“Well, we could use some help on missions. And as you are the tutor of the big boy here, probably you should join us too.” Tony smiled.  
“What you mean tutor? And what do you mean join you?”  
“Being an Avenger, you silly. And also, you are responsible for him. Anything that goes wrong, it’s on you.”

I made an “O” with my mouth. The responsibility part was ok. But being an Avenger. How? I don’t know anything about SHIELD, about fighting, about their missions How could I ever be an Avenger?  
“We accept your proposition. If… we will never be apart.” Loki finally spoke, interrupting my thoughts.  
“Good then. Deal.” Tony finally said. “Pack your things. All of it. We’ll be leaving in an hour.”  
“Already?”  
“Why? Is there a problem?” Bruce asked watching my sad expression.  
“I just--- need to say goodbye to my mother and I need to go someplace before we leave town.”

They agreed to wait a bit more and I sat down with my mother explaining her everything. She cried but she knew I was finally finding what should be completing my heart. If anyone knows how I felt over the years was her. And she was happy for me. Scared, but happy.

After leaving the house I gave Tony directions and he did as I told as he drove to my peaceful place. We arrived at a parking lot and I got out of the car saying I needed 5 to 10 minutes. They eventually left the car when they saw where we were. We were at the top of Sameiro mountain, in the monastery where I use to go to find myself. And that’s what I needed to do. Watching the city, the horizon that always made me feel peaceful. I closed my eyes and inhaled the pure air coming from the trees. I breathed very calmly, hearing the silence of the place, only hearing the shaking of the leaves in the trees due to the wind. That peace increased as soon as I felt two cold and long arms that I know very well embracing me from behind, and a face buried in my neck, planting kisses on my hair. Loki didn’t need to say anything. He knew. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, but it would be done as long as we’re together. It was the start of something new and somehow scary, but love worth everything. That’s why he accepted. I was worthy.


	18. Chapter 18

I was back to New York in The Avengers Tower for almost a month now. Loki has been through some interrogations, nothing too aggressive, but they had to make sure he wanted to be good. I have been training, first I trained with some SHIELD agent, Melinda May. I was told she was one of the best and they weren’t wrong. She was a fierce and hard woman, but we managed to handle ourselves together. She taught me basic training, basic fight, basic stealth mode, how to handle weapons. I trained with her for a week, without using powers. The next week I was taught by Nat. She is even stronger than May and she taught me other stuff. We would train from 6.30AM to 5 PM every day for two weeks. She told me I was a fast learner and I seemed to be born for that which motivated me even more. Then, I had to train with Captain America for another week. Until Thor. I had to fight with Thor. And I could use magic.  
“Lady Cat, I assure you I don’t want to hurt you but I apologize if I do.”  
“Thor, just do it.”

He approached me quickly and tried to punch me in my face, but I dodge him faster than he was expecting, making him stumble a little. I heard someone laughing behind me and I realized it was Loki. Thor was astonished how I was able to dodge that so he charged again, and again, and again and I would dodge him over and over again, until one time, when I dodge him and gave him a slap on the back of his neck.  
“You hit me!”  
“Wasn’t I suppose to do that?”  
“Not everyone can do that.”

Then he tried again and this time I didn't dodge, I defended myself with my strength. He was amazed but he kept fighting with me, each of us defending from the fast punches that we were making each other. Eventually, he made a mistake, he let his arrogance win and that made him lose. He was about to punch me when I dodge his wrist, slid to his side and gave him a knee on his belly, making him fall to the floor.  
“I’m sorry Thor, but you let your guard down.”

He tried to talk between his whimpers. “That-- was--very very g--ood. Congratulations my lady.”  
Loki was leaning against the door, ginning to me when we got interrupted by Nick Fury. He entered the training room clapping at me.  
“I see you are growing here. Defeating Thor is not an easy task. But your training isn’t over.”  
“Isn’t it?”  
“Oh no. There’s one more training you need. You need to fight against your heart.” He saw my puzzled look and he laughed. “You see. I watched your training. You have been learning at a fast pace like I never seen before, not even Natasha. There's’ only one thing left. Heart. Sentiment. And the ability to use it as a weapon…”  
“How am I supposed to do that?”

He looked to Loki and nodded to him. “You need to fight against him.”  
“What? No, I can’t do that. I’m gonna hurt him.” Loki gave me a “Excuse me?” look and Fury raised a brow. We didn’t need to talk anymore as Loki approached from the training mat. He nodded me, telling me we were about to start and he threw himself at me, making me surprised but I managed to defend myself. We kept fighting with each other and I could hit him and could hit me. He gave me a punch in my nose and I stumbled back, grabbing my nose in pain, looking at my bloody hands after. I felt his worried look as he approached me to see if I was ok. But I wasn’t over just yet. I looked at him with a mocking and dangerous look in my face, raising a brow at him, making him freeze looking at me.

I got up from the floor, snapped my fingers and all the blood and wounds from my body disappeared instantly. He was somehow astonished but proud but that expression faded away from his face when I gestured my hand in the air and he was pushed back to the floor. As he tried to get up, I made the gesture again. He tried to do the same with me and I wasn’t able the deviate his spell, falling on my back. He immediately threw himself on top of me, pinning my hands above my head and asking me to surrender myself.  
“Admit it, I’m still better than you. Surrender yourself.” He said with a grin on his face. I made him a kind look and smiled at him.  
“Surrender to you?” I paused a bit. “Always.”

Loki let go of my hands and cupped my face as he approached my face to kiss me. Somehow I managed to throw a spell at him, making him fall to the floor and I immediately got on top of him and conjured some straps to tie up his hands. His shocked expression made me laugh and I turned to Fury.  
“You said to use my sentiments to win, right? I won.”

Fury was speechless too, but he couldn’t deny it: I won. He nodded in agreement and left the room leaving me alone with Loki. I made his ties disappear and he quickly grabbed me and kissed me with such longing that I let out a moan. “I can’t believe you cheated.” He said between kisses.  
“It wasn’t cheating. I did what Fury wanted. And the student must surpass the master someday. ”  
“I’m impressed.”

He resumed his kiss, allowing his wands to wander my body. He caressed my face before he explores my back with his hands, pulling me him. His hand started to pull my top up until he could feel the softness of my skin. I allowed him to do it. Somehow training with him made me … turned on? That’s new.

We were interrupted as we heard somehow coughing at the door. It was Tony and Steve. Right behind them were Natasha and Bruce. They were beginning at us. “What?” We asked, still on the floor, me on top of Loki, his hands all over my body. We got away from each other, embarrassed and Tony only worsen things. “Please, don’t let my mats get dirty with any activity besides training. Some stains are hard to clean.” I widened my eyes at him but he ignored it. “Anyway... We talked with Fury. Loki and Cat, welcome to the team. You are Avengers now.”


	19. Chapter 19

Who would even think this? The broken-hearted girl fell in love with a god, learned magic and is an Avenger now. Hearing me saying this makes me laugh. Me, the girl who cut herself in the past because she was lost and incomplete. The girl who would cry herself to sleep and who was constantly looking over her shoulder now is an Avenger. I never felt proud of myself until I heard Tony words informing us. That was it. That was the moment. I felt the electricity running through my body, all the emotions took over me and all I could think about was to celebrate. Only me and Loki. But Tony had another idea. He wanted to throw a “small” party in our honor after they arrived from a mission to retrieve Loki’s scepter from Hydra hands. As much as Loki tried to convince them to go with them on the mission as the scepter was his, they refused and preferred to leave him out of that mission.  
“Come on, Reindeer games. See this party as a way to promote yourself as friendly to humans.” Loki was sitting on the sofa in the living room, arms crossed, head back and eyes closed as he sighed when Tony kept insisting with him.  
“Well, Tony, I know that wasn’t your thought but you might be right. First, try to insert him in a small group of trusting people and get them to spread the word. Loki, this could be a way.” I turned to Loki trying to convince him.

Tony didn’t help when he talked but he just couldn’t help. “Come on. I'll buy you a tuxedo. We’ll be best pals after this. I will even consider letting you braid my hair.”  
“Can I kill him?” Loki asked me in despair.  
“As much as I know that would be good for humanity, no, Sorry. But I think he is right. It will be good. And…” I whispered at his ear. “If the party is not our taste we could just skip it and… you know… keep doing what we were doing at the training room?” 

His eyes widened and he looked at Tony. “But I won’t braid your hair.”

After a while, Loki, Thor, Tony, and Sam went out to buy normal clothes to Loki and a tuxedo as Tony promised. I sighed as I saw them left and I kept comfortable sitting in the sofa, enjoying the silence and feeling the stress leaving my body. At least, I thought I was going to have a quiet but Nat interrupted that moment. “Come on. It’s your turn.”  
“To what?”  
“Tony gave me a credit card. He ordered me to go shopping with you. To buy you a beautiful dress for tonight.”  
“He ordered you?”  
“Well… I ordered him to order me. Come on.” She pulled me out the sofa making me groan at the discomfort I felt when I left it. But probably it was a good idea. Maybe I could buy some dress to impress Loki. I don’t even know what kind of tastes he has when it comes to human dresses. Oh boy, what if he doesn’t like it?

I don’t know how many dresses we tried. Nat was amazing in all of them. The way the dresses embrace her curves was absolutely divine. But when I looked myself in the mirror I never liked the way it fits me. I was getting disappointed with the shopping results when Nat stopped in a store after she saw something inside. She pulled me with her inside the store, grabbed a dark green dress and told me to dress it.  
“Nat, I don’t think I’ll fit inside this. It’s tight.”  
“Trust me. It's supposed to be like that. Besides, the color. I think Loki would like that color. Come on out and let me see.”

As I got out she smiled at me and clapped her hands. “Perfect!!! Turn around and see yourself in the mirror.” I did as she told me and she was kinda right. It was a brilliant dark green dress, knee length, one shoulder sleeve and it has a collar strap with buttons. It accentuates my soft curves but it makes my ass look even bigger than it is.  
“I don’t know that. Isn’t this… too much?”  
“No. Not at all. It fits you perfectly Cat. You need to be more confident. I mean, look at yourself in the mirror. I’m not a lesbian, but I could be for you.” She laughed and then she became more serious. “I mean it. It fits you amazingly. Let’s find some nice shoes to finish the look.”

I thanked her for her patience and for her help, not only with the shopping adventure but also for making me feel better with myself. We went out for like 3 hours and when we got home, there was already some people preparing the party. The 4 for men haven’t arrived yet and I assumed they would only arrive in the evening when the party starts. I went to my room to shower but Nat was already waiting for me when I got out of the shower. She told me to sit on a chair and started to put makeup on me. She was already dressed and her hair and makeup were amazing, as always. I asked her to put a light makeup, nothing too flashy and she agreed. She then straightened my hair and made a small side braid on one side, the same side as the arm that would be sleeveless in my dress. Finally, I got dressed, put on my shoes and some perfume and looked myself in the mirror. “not bad huh?” I heard Nat saying. “I bet Loki will be tempted to take it off. But don’t let him destroy it!”  
“Nat!”  
“What? It’s not a secret you two.”  
“I know. But not like that. We’re taking things slowly.” I said quietly.  
“What you mean slowly? You two never…?” I nodded no. “I’m sorry, I thought… When we saw you at the training room-- I’m sorry.”  
“No, it’s alright. But, no, not yet… I-- wasn’t able before… And he understands that.”  
“I’m sure he does. He could have been a mass murderer before, but he does love you and I bet he would do anything for you.” I blushed at her commentary and she smiled softly at me. “But, trust me I know what I’m saying, don’t let the past haunt you until the end of your days. It will consume you and you won’t get to live your life. And one day you’ll look back and you’ll understand that the past doesn’t define us. What really matters is now. Make it count.”  
“Wow, you’re a good friend you know that?”  
“See? Friend. Something I never thought it would be possible, but look at me now.” She cleaned a tear away. “You can do whatever you want. Just open your heart and your mind to new things. You won’t regret it.”

I hugged her and thanked her before she left my room. She has point, I know it and I want to live my life. For me, for Loki, for us. It’s not an obligation, it’s something I really wanted but my mind kept pushing away. Not anymore. When I have the opportunity I will do something about it. No more sorrow. No, I’m would go out of that room a new and stronger woman. 

I heard some classical music playing and people talking in the living room and I entered the doors and walked through the people that turned their heads as I was passed by. I heard some “Wow” coming from Bruce and Steve as Nat was at the bar preparing some shots smiling at their expressions.  
“You look absolutely amazing Cat,” Steve said with those big blue and honest eyes. I felt myself flushing as I thanked him and asked them about Loki. “He and Tony should be arriving at any moment.”  
“What? You left them alone?” They laughed at me.  
“Don’t you trust Loki?”  
“I do. I don’t trust Tony.”  
They look to each other. “She has a point,” Steve said and Bruce relaxed me. “Don’t worry, they were talking about his scepter… --and they arrived right now, look.”

I looked around but I didn’t see them right away. I saw Tony greeting some people and someone was with him. I watched them and I realized the tall man with a black suit, a black shirt, and black hair combed back was Loki. Damn, that suit makes him hotter than he is. I felt my throat dry as I saw him watching around, probably looking for me, his eyes wandering through the room, passing by me and then coming back to stare at me. His expression was shocked? Astonished? I don’t know. I just saw his mouth open slightly in “O” and I saw Tony trying to get him back to the conversation. When he saw he couldn’t focus Loki in his speech he tried to see where Loki was looking at. When he saw me he widened his eyes. “Damn. Your lady cleaned up well.” 

Loki ignored his comment and smiled at me as he approached me. Everyone in the room ceased their conversation as they saw Loki walking with determination through the room until he reaches me. As I saw his wild look towards me I thought he would just grab me and kiss me aggressively, but no. He stopped, took my hands in his and kissed my knuckles. “For thousands of years I lived and I never saw a more beautiful being than you. You look ravishing, my love.” I smiled at him.  
“You look gorgeous too. That suit… Damn, I could look at you all my life and could never grow tired.”

Nat called us to drink a shot, interrupting our moment. I didn’t mind, everyone was looking at us and that way, they resumed their conversations. I could feel Loki’s stare burning when he was talking with Tony and some other people. He seemed like he was paying attention to their words but his eyes remained locked in me.

Finally the party was already ending, people were leaving and we considered it a success when it comes to Loki. People said he was polite and intelligent, but I could see some of them didn’t trust him completely. I can’t blame them. But it was good anyways. We remained sitting on the sofas, playing with each other and daring each other to try to pick up Thor’s Hammer. It was funny, watching Tony and Rhodes trying together, Bruce and then Steve. I didn’t dare to move when they asked me to do it nor Loki or Nat.  
Tony tried to ridicule the situation. “The handle's imprinted, right? Like a security code. "Whosoever is carrying Thor's fingerprints" is, I think, the literal translation?”  
Thor mocked them. “Yes, well that's, uh, that's a very, very interesting theory. I have a simpler one. You're all not worthy.”

Then there was this deafening noise that caused pain in our heads as we heard someone talking with difficulty. “Worthy... No... How could you be worthy? You're all killers. I'm sorry, I was asleep. Or... Was I dreaming?” We looked to each other on alert. There was a malfunctioning iron suit talking to us. “There was a terrible noise...and I was tangled in... in...strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.”

Tony tried to access JARVIS but nothing happened. The next thing I knew we were under attack by iron suits. It was hard to defend us but we managed to make a mess before Thor destroys the last iron suit. Everything was heavier when he found out that that thing destroyed our first line of defense, JARVIS.


	20. Chapter 20

That was our first mission together. We managed to save Sokovia but everything went to shit after that. There was a huge controversy about The Avengers, about Loki, about everything. People wanted us to be held accountable for the mess. Ok, Ultron was Tony’s mess, I can accept that, but the rest? If we didn’t intervene it would be much, much worse. There was this thing they wanted us to agree on, the Sokovia accords: legal documents designed to regulate the activities of enhanced individuals, meaning the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. But I know it would be worse than this. If somehow we’re not allowed to help someone in distress, we couldn’t act at all. And the part that really grinds my gears? Tony agreed with the accords and wanted to force us to sign them. I didn’t. I could never do that. And that’s when the war began.

Loki was in the middle of this and the government started to decline the idea of having him as an ally and I found out they were planning to lock him away. Thor had gone to another realm with a mission and we haven’t heard of him since so he couldn’t help us.  
“Tony! This is madness, you agreed on having him here. You wanted him here.”  
“No need to defend me, love. I could kill this bug in a second.”  
“Shut up Loki. Tony, for Christ’s sake, why are you doing this?”

Everyone started to surround us, wanting to know what was happening. Great, just great. Audience! Tony told us he was ordered to get Loki outside, to a car full of agents who would take him to a special prison until they decide what to do with him. And Tony was really doing it as he asked Loki to go with him at peace. Loki was about to go when I stopped them.  
“Cat, you’ll make things worse,” Tony said to me. He had this sad look on his eyes. Apparently, his life wasn't going really well. He and Pepper weren’t together anymore, mostly because of his mad behavior and obsession with something he doesn’t even know what it is.  
“Define worse. You know I can’t let you do that.”  
“You think I want to? Believe me. I don’t. But it’s the right thing to do.”

I laughed and put my hand on my forehead trying to think straight. Loki was oddly quiet. Usually, he would be shouting at Tony but he was in silence. Steve intervene. “What are you doing Tony?”  
“Capsicle, stay out of this. This has nothing to do with you.”  
“You’re wrong. This has everything to do with me. With us. We’re supposed to be a team.”  
“That’s why he needs to cooperate!” Tony yelled impatiently. “Look, probably he will be released after a trial… in a few years.”  
“No. I’m done with this. I told you. If anything would go against our deal, I would end it. I’m sorry. I apologize to the rest of the team, but he left me no other choice. Know that I am truly grateful for everything you have done for me. But no one will touch Loki.” My hands were already shining with this mix of blue and white energy. “Goodbye.” And with that, I involved Loki and I with that energy and got out of the tower. I teletransported us to my house, back in my hometown.  
“We need to go to Asgard Loki, there’s no other choice.”

He stopped, frozen looking at me and a grin formed on his face. “I told you pet, one day you would accept to go to Asgard with me.” And I rolled my eyes on him before I hug him and kiss his neck.  
“I couldn’t let them take you.”  
“They wouldn’t get so far.”  
“What should we do now?”

Loki didn’t speak a word as he got out of my house, went outside, looked up to the sky and said: “Open the Bifrost.” The next thing I knew, there was a strong beam of light surrounding us, pulling us up into it. Loki grabbed me by the waist and smiled while he was traveling to Asgard. It wasn’t more than seconds when the speed decreased and the light went weaker. I finally felt concrete under my feet and Loki took his hands off my waist.  
“Good evening prince Loki. My lady.”

I looked around to find this low deep voice and I saw a golden armored black man, on top of stairs, holding a sword. His eyes caught my attention, they were golden and shiny, like I never seen before. Truly mesmerizing.  
“This is Heimdal. I told you about him before. Heimdal, you must know Cat for sure.”  
“Indeed I do.” He bowed to me and I did the same as he smiled softly at me. “I cannot tell you how honored I am to finally meet you, my lady. Please, welcome to Asgard. I hope it’s of your liking.”  
“Thank you, Heimdal.” I smiled at him and before I could think Loki was pulling me up to a horse before he started to ride it on top of a bridge. 

I couldn’t believe in my eyes. There was a golden city right in front of us. Everything was so shiny and divine. The bridge was so long but it was absolutely beautiful. The floor was full of colors and under it, there was a sea that ended on a dark horizon where the stars begin. “It is beautiful isn’t it?” Loki asked me but I couldn’t answer. I was mesmerized looking all around us. When he got to the end of the bridge there was little houses and people doing their chores, unaware of a stranger entering their world. Just after a while some people looked at us, saw Loki and bowed to him as he bowed his head, greeting them. After that, they would look at me and would just stare until I’m out of their vision.  
“They know you’re not from here. They can see your beauty.”  
“What? I am similar to them. You all have the same appearance as I am.”  
“But you have a unique beauty, my love. I told you before. And they stare at you because they never saw anything like you.”

I rolled my eyes at him but kept looking around until he stopped the horse, got out of it and helped me go down. He turned himself to two guards, by a huge door that led to a castle. The guards bowed to Loki and I and opened the doors for us to go in. Like outside, the palace was golden and white and full with life. People would give me smiles as I passed by and when we got to a huge salon, there was a big throne at the end of it and some old man was sitting there.  
“Now. We’re going to meet m… Odin.” Loki told me, almost stumbling in his own words. I raised an eyebrow at him and he made a “What?” look, making me roll my eyes.

When he got to Odin, who was quietly observing us, I immediately bowed to Odin and remained on my knee for a second before a smile formed on the man’s face.  
“Finally, my son decided to show himself on his house and introduce me the reason for his changing. I wanted to know what did you do to him? You would have to be something special, wouldn’t you? Otherwise, I cannot see how could a simple Midgardian do such a thing. Or can it be you are not a simple Midgardian?”  
“Odin… Always so pleasant.” I gave Loki a warning glare and he shut up. Odin looked at me with mocking eyes after I cheesed him.  
“All-father. I am Catarina or Cat. Loki just needed someone to show him what he truly was.”  
“And what is that?” I bit my lip at his mocking tone.  
“He is a good man. --or god-- demi. Anyways. He just needed to know how what forgiveness means.”  
“He did a lot of things that forgiveness wouldn’t fix.”

Loki was about to talk when I interrupted him. “I’m not talking about being forgiven. I’m also talking about knowing how to forgive. How to forgive lies and illusions. Forgiving not only others but also himself. That’s what’s been missing and now that I know you, I can tell why.” I sensed Loki containing a laugh and I made him another warning glare.

I could sense the astonishment on Odin’s face. “I can see why Loki got interested in you. You have courage. You have heart. I respect that. For how long are you considering staying?”  
“Uh- We don’t know. As you must know, things on Earth are… quite complicated.”  
“Ah, yes. Nothing new. Midgardians don’t value what they have until they need them. And believe me, they will.”  
“What do you mean we will?”  
“I can sense something coming. Something like you never saw before. Thor is already trying to find out more. But don’t worry yourself for now. Now, you need to know more about your true nature, your goddess nature. Loki shows her the palace, would you? And give her a bedroom. Go, child, you are welcome to Asgard.”

We bowed to him before we turn around and went out of the salon. “Charming isn’t he?” Loki asked me with a clearly annoyed tone on his voice. I didn’t answer him. No, not charming. At all. But he knows more than meets the eye and that’s why he can’t show his sentiments around anyone. Either way, he tried to be polite. I think. My thoughts got interrupted when Loki took me through a corridor until he opened a white wooden door, showing me a huge room. There was a king sized bed with white sheets, but the rest of the room was dark and green. “This must be his room.” I thought to myself. He sat down on his bed, watching me as I wandered around, looking at his things. I stopped when I saw a desk full of papers and drawings. They were absolutely beautiful. Some were grey and white and others were colored. There was one that caught my attention. There was a girl, waist-length light brown hair, almost blond, sitting on the grass and playing guitar. Behind her there was a man, looking like him, admiring her and his hand was on her hair, probably caressing her. It sounded too familiar to me and I felt Loki embrace behind me as I was holding that piece of art in my hand. “That was the first time I saw you. You were in my dreams.”  
“I dreamt about this too, Loki. What does this mean?”  
“I think…” He grabbed the drawing and put it on his desk, he put my hair to one side and kissed the exposed neck on the other. “destiny wants us together.” He bit me slightly and that provoked me shivers all over my body. “We’re meant to be.” He slowly pulled one strap of my top off my shoulders and kissed the exposed shoulder as his hand caressed my arm.  
“Loki…” I tried to speak but I was too intoxicated with that tension between us, so my voice came out as a mix of moan and whisper.

He put the strap back in my shoulder and got away from me much to my disappointment that made me groan. When I looked back he was opening windows-doors that led to a huge balcony with a beautiful view over the city. There were red and dark orange colored flowers surrounding the balcony, making it even more mesmerizing. Loki was looking over the balcony to the city and I leaned against it astonished with all that view. I was still recovering from that tension between us in the bedroom, but before I could calm down, Loki was again embracing me from behind, hugging me and caressing my neck, once again, provoking shivers. This time he was gentler but wilder. He was kissing, biting and sucking on my neck, as both of the straps from my top were pulled down by his two hands. At the same time, his body was glued to mine, rubbing itself on mine as I rubbed my back on his shaft. He was clearly hard and that friction made me feel some warmness inside my panties and something wet inside. It was an amazing moment and Loki decided to take the next step. His left hand was wandering my front, from my belly to my breast, pulling me against him harder. The other hand decided to go further and started to lightly touch the edge of my pants. He was testing waters as he introduced one finger inside my pants, caressing the edge of my panties. His mouth was all over my neck and my ears, keeping up with the grinding movement behind me. As he sensed my appetite he unbuttoned my pants and slowly opened the zipper. Then he caressed me gently through my panties, feeling the wetness formed. Feeling his touch like that made me dizzy and I wanted more, but he decided otherwise. He kept teasing me above my panties and intensified the sucking on my neck, distracting me from his hand down there. 

After a while like that, his hand started to go up and under my panties, slowly finding my clitoris and my wetness. As soon as he felt that wetness I felt his hard dick twitch and his grind intensified, making him groan slightly. He rubbed my clitoris with that same wetness that turned him on even more and started to set a pace as he heard my low moans. His touch was gentle but enough to make me feel something forming inside me after some minutes of rubbing. I never felt anything like it. My head was cleared of all the problems and dark thoughts, my body was heating up and my pussy was pulsating inside as if it wanted to explode. He intensified his pace when he felt my body trembling and my walls tumbling down and finally, I felt it. That feeling everyone talks about. That electricity running all over your body and the hotness emanating down there. There was something wetting my panties even more and my legs started to fail. Loki slowed down his pace. “That’s it, love, let go of it. Let me feel you.” And then he resumed his fast pace, making me over the edge almost immediately. And again, and again and again.

He felt me trembling and my legs finally failed. He quickly realized that and stopped, picking me up bride-style, but not daring to move as he was watching me catch my breath. He smiled gently and planted kisses in my head as he entered his room and put me on his bed. He caressed my hair as he saw me finally coming back to life. 

I couldn’t talk, move or walk. I just looked into his eyes and there was something else there. Not only love, but he was oddly peaceful. I couldn’t believe that a moment like that would be the key to free him from his demons. He finally realized I was really his. I let him in like I never let anyone before and he realized I wasn’t disillusioned when I told him love him. Because of that, he planted kisses all over my face and I giggled a little as I hugged him. “Thank you Loki.”  
“No. Thank you, love. But I think you will need a hot bath. I still have so much to show you.”

He held a hand to me, to help me get up and I took it, but when I was getting up he sensed something change in me. “What is it, love?” I couldn’t say anything, I just grabbed him and kissed him, feeling controlled by an animal, as I pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor. After that, I just started to unbutton his pants and his hardness came back. But this time he stopped me and looked at me, heavy breathing. “Love. One step at a time. I don’t want to push you.”  
“You won’t. I need you. I need to have you now.”  
“I know. I feel it. And I want it too. But it’s not time yet.” He saw my puzzled look and hugged me. “I love you, Cat. I want it to be special and full with love. Not wild. And right now, I think you would rip me to pieces if I let you. Not that I don’t want to. But you deserve something better. In time. Trust me, love. Alright?”

Even though I just wanted to take that god right there, he had a point. What he did to me before was more than enough for now. It was a good start point and it was very intense. It made me feel things I never felt before and I want to remember it like that. Perfect.


	21. Chapter 21

The next days Loki showed me Asgard entirely. I had the opportunity to know the people, the warriors three, amazing places like forests, mountains, and beaches. Yeah, they’re a bit like us, they enjoy the same stuff but enjoying beach wasn’t a usual hobby. I told Loki about that, about how we enjoy to go on a vacation to a paradisiac beach and feel the sun burning in our skin.  
“I must say that is awkward. You’re saying Midgardians just lay in the sand feeling the heat of the sun in your skin, just to relax?”  
“And don’t forget the ice cream or cold drink in hand,” I said proudly as I let out a sigh wishing I was at a beach that moment. “I’ll show you one day.”  
“Love I don’t think I would enjoy it.”  
“Trust me. You will.”

There wasn’t any news about Thor in the meanwhile and I’ve been studying things about Asgard, about my goddess nature (which still makes me laugh) and magic. Over time I’ve become better and better but I missed Earth and my family. So, every day, when Loki was not with me I would go to Heimdal and asked him how was everyone back home. That was becoming a habit and Heimdal would already be expecting me every day at the same hour. One day Heimdal didn’t give me the good news. At all. Apparently, the Avengers were fighting against each other, not only because of the Accords but because of a man. James Buchanan Barnes, or Bucky. I remember Steve talking about him. He was a friend from the war and was brainwashed by Hydra to do their dirty work. What I didn’t understand was what was happening and why. And of course, I wanted to help. 

I came back to the palace and found Loki in his bedroom waiting for me. I have been sleeping with him every night since we got to Asgard, but nothing else had happened between us. Intimate things I mean. He was so polite and never pushed me. He repeated what he has done to me the first time at his balcony but nothing else. I wanted more but he always told me he didn’t want to scare me and that it was too soon. That night I arrived at his room and he hugged me as I came in.  
“I’m sorry I’m late. I lost track of time.”  
“Have you been studying in the library?”  
“Yes… But… I’ve been seeing Heimdal every day to check on my family.”  
“I am aware of that darling.” He saw the concerned look on my face and his soft expression cleared out, showing a worried look. “Did something happen?”  
“Something is happening on Earth. A war. Between the Avengers. Between our friends.”  
“Your friends…” He said quietly. “Do you forget about what they tried to do to me?”  
“I don’t. But I know it wasn’t their fault. And they actually wanted to help you and they received you with no hostility. You know it even if you are too stubborn to admit that.”

He gave me a “you have a point" face but he didn’t reply. I told him about Bucky’s history and about what Heimdal told me. Loki got up from the sofa where we were sitting on and started to walk inside his room from one side to another, hands behind his back and a thinking look on his face.  
“Loki. There’s something else. Thor. He is after something. And after what your father told us, about something coming… I think something is going to happen. Something huge. Something bad. I don’t know how, but I can feel it coming.” He didn’t say anything and kept his thinking-face. “I want to go back to Earth. I need to talk to them. Stop that war and warn them.” He stopped walking and looked at me with an incomprehensible expression. “You know I need to do that. And you also know, nothing is going to stop me from going. Either you accept that, come with me or stay here, or you don’t accept that and I’m going anyway.”

He just nodded me as if he didn’t have anything to say. He knew full well I would go anyway, so he just decided to hold me tight and kiss my hair. We didn’t talk for a while but I could feel his head working hard, thinking too much. He knew very well something was about to happen and he thought that maybe I would be more protected on Earth, rather in Asgard. Even though his relationship with his father has seen better days, he knew very well Odin’s worried state. And ever since they got back to Asgard, Odin was more odd than usual. He thought about what it could be, but when the answer came to his head he shook that feeling away. No, Thanos wouldn’t go so far just to kill him for not being successful on Midgard. No. It’s something else. It must be. Either way, it didn’t feel good and the tiniest chance of losing me was out of the question. 

I noticed his worried expression on his eyes even though he tried to hide it and I was about to talk to him about it when he finally said with his bright eyes locked in mine. “Go to your home realm. Go tomorrow morning, but be mine tonight.”  
“I’ll always be yours, Loki. There’s nothing that could change that.”  
“No. Nothing would ever change that. Never. I can’t--- It drives me mad just to think of me without you now. You are more important than the air I breathe. You’re in my mind all the time, even when you shouldn’t be. How could I ever live without you?” He had tears forming inside his eyes, making them brighter.  
“You won’t live without me. I’ll just go to Earth to help and I’ll be back to you. I’ll always come back to you.”  
“And I to you.” He cupped my face with his hands and planted kisses on my lips while we were talking with each other.  
“Promise me. Promise me we’ll always find our way back to each other, Loki. Promise me that and I’m yours forever.”

He said he promised while he embraced me with his arms and kindly forced his tongue on my mouth, caressing my tongue. Something about this kiss made moan in his mouth, making him smile at the same time and slowly pushing me against the sofa, positioning his body on top of me. He was careful with his movements, not wanting to scare me but he didn’t hold himself this time. His right hand wandered all over my body, slowly going under my knee-length dress and up to my body until he found my tight which he started to caress very gently. My hands were on his back, feeling the only fabric that was touching his skin and finding the edge of his black t-shirt. I slowly pulled his t-shirt up and he understood this gesture as he took it off and threw it to the floor. Every time I see his naked torso it feels like the first time. His pale skin and his muscles make his body glorious and I couldn’t just grow tired of it. And it aroused me more than it should as my body automatically started to rub itself between his legs, feeling his hard shaft pounding and asking to be free.

Loki was trying not to rip my clothes off of my body and he slowed down, got up and held a hand for me to get up with him. As I accept it he just pulled me to him and kissed me while he was pushing me towards the bed. When I felt it behind me he just pushed me and I fell on his soft white sheets, with him immediately on top of me, resuming the kiss. Only this time his mouth started to kiss my cheeks, my ears, my neck, biting me here and there and provoking chills all over my body. I felt my pussy so wet and hot, it was almost like it was burning and I wanted more contact with Loki’s body.

I lifted my torso a bit and he took his hands to my back, opening my zipper and pulling the straps off my shoulders while he bites them. Slowly he pulled my dress down, and his mouth opened as he watched my almost naked body, only covered with a semi-transparent green lace bra and matching lace panties. He couldn’t stay away from me too long as he was again on top of me, his hands wandering the curves of my body, gently passing by my breasts and squeezing them slightly. His mouth kept kissing and biting along my neck and he started to go down until his mouth reaches between my breasts. He started to kiss them gently and his hands were squeezing them at the same time, making me release soft moans that I was holding. Then, he pulled my straps off my shoulders, pulling the bra down as he made his way to the nipples. He started to lick them and more moans came out of my mouth. He became more aggressive as he licked them, bite them, kissed them and his whole body was rubbing itself between my legs.

After a while he started to go further down until he reached for my panties. He looked at me with his bright eyes that always melt me, hoping for some kind of approval. I smiled at him and he grinned back as he pulled the panties down and started to kiss my thighs, my folds and teasing me in my clit. The tip of his tongue started to lick that sweet spot just slightly and, when he noticed my impatience, he just smiled and devoured my pussy with such hunger that I started to moan louder. His fingers helped him, caressing my entrance and spreading my juice all over. He then started to suck on my clit and that made me started to feel that electricity I always feel when my orgasm is near and somehow he sensed it as he intensified his sucking. I could feel his saliva dripping down along my entrance and it felt even more exciting. My moans were louder as I started to come undone and I put my hands in my mouth to shut me up but Loki lift his head, making his fingers substitute his tongue. “No, Love. Don’t hold yourself. I want to hear you.” And he went back to his sucking, leaving me over the edge once again and wetting him with my squirty orgasm. He grinned at me while I was releasing the last drops of my juice and I saw hunger, desire and a dangerous wild look on his eyes as he got up, got back to my mouth and kissed me more fervently. My hands automatically tried to unbutton his pants and he gave me some help, pulling them down, along with his boxers, never breaking the kiss.

When I felt his huge hardness between my slippery pussy he looked at me with love on his eyes. “Do you want me? Are you sure you want this?” I couldn’t answer him and I just kissed him but he stopped me and asked again. “Love, I need to know if this is indeed what you truly want. If you do, I humbly give you all of me. Until the last drop.”  
“There’s nothing in this life that I want more than feeling you. I need you Loki… And now more than ever. I want this.”

He positioned himself in my entrance, rubbing his cock in the right places, making me moan softly. As he heard my moans he smiled and kissed me with passion, looking me in the eyes. “I’m yours, completely.” And he forced himself inside me slowly but firmly. While he made movements in and out very shorts I was enjoying the pleasure it was provoking me but then, after a worried look on his face, he pushed himself inside a little more until he reached the point where it hurts like hell. He was now fully inside me, but he stopped there watching my tears falling down my face. “Love? I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

The soreness from my pussy reminded me when I first woke up sore from my kidnapping. I woke up hurting like hell but I didn’t know what it was until I saw the blood on my nightgown, until my kidnapper raped me again and again and again… “No! I won’t keep doing this to myself” I thought ignoring Loki calling for me, not daring to move and hurt me. “Move,” I commanded him, but he remained still. Confusion was all over his face and I repeated. “Start to move Loki.” After a while, he did as I told him and it hurt at first, but after some soft movements, the pain started to ease and finally disappeared. Loki’s worried eyes were still locked on me and I could tell he was holding himself, so I just grabbed his ass with my hands much to his astonishment and made him speed up his pace. Loki couldn’t hold himself anymore so he just grabbed my breasts and started to thrust me harder and faster. My moans were echoing in the room and it was music to his ears as he closed his eyes and let out some moans that sounded like groans.

His black hair was all over his face, bouncing in sync with his hips movements. The way it fell on his face and the pleased look on his eyes aroused me even more. And after a while, my orgasm was forming once again. He felt my walls trembling around his hard cock and he took one hand to my clit to rub it and help me with my orgasm. That was it. I felt it. But this time was different. Was more intense. More electrifying. I swear I almost saw stars as I felt my head dizzy.

The view of my body trembling under him, my loud moans, the sweat running down my body and my juice spread all over his cock and his balls made him over the edge almost instantly as I felt his cock twitching and his movements became harder. “Oh, Gods” He just moaned it loud while he grabbed my waist tight, increasing his speed. In the final moments he was moaning louder and louder along with me, his head was tilted back facing the ceiling but his eyes were closed. There were drops of sweat all over his body, making his pale skin brighter and more immaculate. 

Before I felt his seed filling my womb he turned his head to face me, look into my dark brown eyes and he just let it all out, trembling, shaking and moaning “I love you. I love you. I love you.” until the last spit of his white juice.

He slowed down his pace until it stopped and he finally let his body lay on top of me, planting kisses along my neck. Both of us were still catching our breathes and calming down the dizziness in our heads. “I did it,” I thought to myself. “I finally let go my past.” And I started to cry and laugh at the same time much to Loki’s confusion.  
“Are you alright, love?”  
“Can’t you see? I’m above the clouds. I’m lighter. I’m free. You set me free from my demons Loki, and for that, I’m truly grateful.”  
“Nonsense love. You made it yourself. I was just lucky enough to watch you do it. It is me who has to thank you for what you have done for me. You made me understand things that I didn't even know it existed. Love. And I love you. More than anything.”

We remained quiet for a while and Loki finally took his cock out of me and we went to the bathroom to take a very well deserved shower. After some time relaxing in the hot water we decided to go back to bed. 

We lay naked on the bed, only sheets covering our shameless nudity when something inside me started to grow again. I looked at Loki and started to kiss him fervently, passionately and with longing. I felt wet again and his cock was already hard and waiting for me. “Take me just one more time.”

Loki did as I told him. Not just once, but all night long until we had nothing left but tiredness and soring bodies. Despite that… there was nothing more than love and desire inside that bedroom.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had a special contribution from Jennifer, whom I want to thank for her dedication.

The next morning, I woke up feeling an empty spot where Loki should have been. I opened my eyes and saw pillows, sheets, and blankets but no Loki, so I got up and looked around for him and found him sitting on the sofa, with a tray full of food on his desk.  
“Loki?”

It seems like I snapped him out of a trance and as soon as he laid eyes on me a sweet smile appeared on his face. “Good Morning love. How are you?”  
“Kinda sore,” I replied, moving from the bed to the couch, kissing his cheek while I sat. “There’s food? Good, I’m hungry.” He smiled softly at me when I put a grape in my mouth. “What?” I asked him with a mouthful of grape.  
“Nothing. You just seem different. More radiant.”  
“I feel different. Free. Thanks to you.”

“What is it?”  
“It’s a very dangerous book. Advanced magic. Only those who are powerful enough can perform those spells and you, my love, have become the strongest wizard I’ve ever met. And let’s not forget you are a goddess.” He saw my puzzled expression and planted a soft kiss on my forehead. “This is just in case you need to defend yourself. These are powerful spells. Even I cannot do all of them, I haven’t even tried half of them.”

I opened the book and read it. There was a table of contents at the beginning with the name of the spells. The book wasn’t too thick but it had a lot of charms and incantations. Some of them Loki already talked about and tried teaching me but I never managed to do them. Maybe I’d attempt somewhile on Earth and surprise Loki when I come back. I smiled internally and kissed Loki, thanking him for the gift.  
“When do you expect to leave?” His voice was more serious and his smile faded away slightly.  
“As soon as I take a shower and get dressed.”

He looked at me and a huge grin appeared on his face. “That means that if I don’t let you get a shower, you will not leave?”  
“Nice try, but no.” He started to kiss my neck and my body just automatically wanted more contact with him. “Loki…-- Uh, stop. I know what you’re doing. Not gonna work. I gotta go.” 

He put his hands up in defeat and his huge grin reduced itself to a mischievous smirk. We ate the rest of our breakfast quietly. Soon, I got up, let the sheet I stole from his bed to cover my naked body fall on the floor and went to the bathroom, without looking back. After a few minutes feeling the hot water warming up my body I felt two arms embracing me from me behind, a naked body I knew too well and something hard poking into my back. Loki started to kiss my neck, biting here and there and rubbing himself on me.  
“Loki. What… are you doing?” I tried to sound as stern as I could but my words ended up soft as a whisper as I felt the heat rise up inside me. This god provokes me strange feelings all over my body when he's near me. But every time I feel his touch on my skin, I feel I'm home. I feel I'm loved. And I feel happy.  
“Saying goodbye, love. Are you going to miss me?” he asked as one of his hands squeezed one lucky breast and his other hand rubbed at my clit, making me gasp. He carefully ventured down as his hips pushed his hard cock against me. I couldn’t speak, intoxicated with that heat already building up, but just as I started reaching for my climax, Loki stopped, pulled my hair back, exposing my wet neck to his mouth. “Are YOU going to miss me?” 

I remained silent, frustrated with the non-orgasm and he sensed it, grabbing his cock and playing with my entrance, rubbing along my wetness until he couldn’t wait any longer and breathed into my ear, “Let me show you how much I’m going to miss you.” before entering me hard. 

His hands were gripping my hips, his cock thrusting quickly and violently against me. His moans were delightful. The whole thing almost made me rethink going home, but I shook that thought away.  
“Tell me pet, who do you going to miss?” I tried to say “Loki” but it came out as a whisper.  
“Who, pet?” He intensified his grip on my hip with one hand but the other hand wrapped my hair around his fist and pulled my head back, “Say it. Say my name.”  
“Loki”, I gasped. To my shock, all this brutal behavior was actually bringing me closer to orgasm. Closing my eyes, the pain was almost explosive, but he pulled my hair a bit more, arousing me even more.  
“Say my name, pet.” Even though he was hurting me, I knew I was in control. I could stop it at any time, but somehow I didn't want it to end. I only wanted to enjoy all the love he has for me.

A little louder, I spoke the name of the only man I had ever truly felt safe with; "Loki."  
“Louder!!!”  
“LOKI” I screamed, and I felt my orgasm finally release just as he poured himself deep inside me.

We both tried to catch our breath as the hot water continued to fall upon our sated bodies. He slid out of me and squeezed me tight from behind, kissing my neck. “I love you, Cat. I cannot put into words how much I love you. More than all the stars in the sky. I don't want to imagine my life without you. Not anymore. If I ever lose you, I would become an empty vessel.”  
“Shh… You won’t be without me. I’ll come back to you.” I turned myself to him and kissed him fervently.  
“Good," he replied, squeezing me even tighter before finally releasing me.

We finished showering together and I prepared to leave. Loki insisted on accompanying me to the Bifrost but I couldn’t leave and watch him stay behind so I told him to do his usual thing and that I'd be back as soon as I could. I knew he was worried about my safety but he knew I was well-trained. My abilities are so well learned that I would often beat him in a fight. I could do basically anything and no one would mess with me. Not anymore. Odin himself watched my training and even Thor fought with me and lost… Well, after a few times of me losing to him first.

When I reached Heimdal, he was already waiting for me with a smile on his face, but some concern in his eyes. “Hello, Heimdal. You know why I’m here.”  
“Indeed my lady.” He answered in his low, baritone voice..  
“It’s Cat, you know that. No lady.”  
“Apologise Cat. So, where do you want to go?”  
“First of all. How’s everything?”

His smile dropped, “No good news for you Cat. Something is coming. I cannot tell you what, but you should go to your friends. Try to reconnect them. Should you need, anything, just look to the heavens and call me.”  
“Thank you, Heimdal." I replied, squeezing his hand gently. With a deep breath, I let my hand fall to my side and said, "Now, take me to Steve Rogers, please.”


	23. Chapter 23

When I opened my eyes I couldn't recognize where I was. I looked around me and I could only see trees and grass, I could only hear birds chirping and wind shaking the leaves. The air was pure, probably away from the polluted cities like New York. No, it was definitely not New York. So I started to walk randomly until I felt this energy going through me.  

I was startled immediately when suddenly I saw a huge city right in front of me, where I previously saw the forest continue. _What the hell? Heimdal failed?_ I thought to myself but my thoughts were cut by some people with funny costumes approaching me. They had... spears on their hands.  _What the f..._  
"Greetings. Welcome to Wakanda. If you're friendly you're more than welcome. If not..." A black woman said with a threatening look and her grip on the spear tightened. 

 I looked to the skies hoping Heimdal would send me to the right place but nothing happened. The lady looked at me puzzled and looked to the others guards with her. She was about to talk when she was interrupted by some man.  
"Ah, you must be Cat. You are looking for Steve aren't you?"  
"Uh, thank god. I thought I was lost. Yes, Yes, I need to see him right now, please. I need to talk to him. Something is about to happen. Som-" I was interrupted by him.  
"No need to explain. Come right away. Let's see him. I am king T'Challa. I've heard so much about you."   
"I only hope you heard the good things." I smiled shyly.  
"The good. The bad. After what I heard, you can be assured, whatever you need, please ask."

I didn't know why the man was being so nice to me but I just nodded and smiled. Soon after we arrived a huge lab, with scientists running from one side to the other, too busy to acknowledge a foreigner invading their land. He introduced me to Shuri and I smiled with their funny interaction. He asked her where Steve was and she just answered "With the white wolf".

 I just followed T'Challa to a find a small farm, sheep all over the grass and a tree next to a house. There he was. Steve. Captain America. And a friend of mine. I smiled when I lay my eyes on him and he lifted his head and ran to me, crushing between his arms, embracing me to a happy hug.  
"You're here. In one piece." Steve finally said. "Loki? Is he here?"  
"No. He's in Asgard. "  
"I hope he is treating you well. You look well," He poked my shoulder and smiled.  
"I am well. He is.. amazing. He just needed an opportunity."  
"I'm glad. And going to Asgard was the best thing you could do, trust me. Things here weren't so well..."  
"Steve, what happened? Heimdal told me that there was war and something bad is coming." I said, worry all over my face but Steve just let go of me and I followed him next to the other man that was with him. 

 The man had shoulder-length dark hair, no left arm but he looked peaceful. He was actually gorgeous. When he saw me he showed a soft smile as Steve introduced him as Bucky Barnes and told me about what happened. (Civil War events). I couldn't believe what I was hearing. How did it come to this point I don't know. Why Tony acted the way he did, I don't know. But this is bad. This is really bad.  
"Steve, there's no time for this stupid war. There's something coming. I don't know what it is. But it is coming. Odin himself warned me. Heimdal too. Thor is already investigating. But, Steve... The Avengers will need to be a team again."   
"You feel it too, huh?" Bucky asked me, after quite some time quiet. I just nodded and we remained in silence for a while.

Almost two weeks have passed since I arrived. I didn't dare to get out of Wakanda and being caught. I stayed there and practiced my magic skills and tried to do some spells from the book Loki gave me. It was really really hard. I could only create matter from nothing and I could turn things into a molecular size and higher than Everest mount. There was something else on that book. Something I didn't know if I would ever need but I tried anyway. It was about giving and taking life. On the book can be read that only a few in all years of existence of the universe could do anything with that spell. I could give it a try.

I went to a forest nearby and sat on the floor, in front of a beautiful white flower. I did as the book said, focusing on that tiny flower but nothing happened. Not even a little movement. Nothing. So I tried and I tried and I tried. Day after day, night after night. So I just quitted.

That night I talked with Steve about trying to gather the Avengers again. About talking with Tony about what Odin told me. About what could possibly be about to happen. Steve thought it was too rash to do that. But I insisted on the matter.

"I don't know if that's possible Cat. We're wanted. You're wanted. Loki's wanted...It's just... " Steve was interrupted by a phone ringing and I noticed by Bucky's and Steve's facial expressions that it wasn't good news. Steve picked up the phone. "Hello, Tony." He was quiet and his expression was hard as he just spoke "We're on our way" and he hung up. Then he turned to me. "How are your magic skills?"   
"Stronger every day."  
"Good. You're gonna need them."


	24. Chapter 24

Edinburgh train station silence was interrupted by glasses shattering and making a mess on the floor. Vision was severely wounded and defeated as well. Wanda was still fighting against those creatures but it was pointless and she knew it. But she was going for it anyway. Until the end.

However, we didn't let it go that far. Vision and Wanda look more than hopeful and relieved as they saw me, Steve, Falcon, and Nat, ready to fight them. The fight was quick and soon after the male-hostile creature was injured on the floor and the female was next to it as we threatened them. Natasha spoke coldly. "We don't wanna kill you. But we will."

"You'll never get the chance again." The female says before she and her company depart as they are beamed up.

We quickly got on the quinjet and headed back to Wakanda. Vision was still injured and Shuri was already expecting us when we arrived to work on his injuries. He was quickly taken to the lab and the scientists started to heal him. Meanwhile, Steve, T'Challa and the rest of the people gathered and talked about what's happening. Steve talked with Bruce and I knew was something off. He was avoiding looking in my eyes. He was avoiding turning to me. But I didn't ask him why as they were explaining stuff about Thanos and what to expect from this fight.

Death. Death is what to expect.

This is it. This is what Tony most feared. The end game. It started years ago when Loki invaded New York and here we are. I'm guessing there was nothing we could do to stop this from happening. I'm guessing this was destiny.

And even though all of this was going to hell, I only thought about Loki. I feared about our future together. I feared my death would make us be apart.

I was snapped back to the world when Nat looked at me worried and hugged me. I didn't understand why she did that but I was about to know. She handed me a phone and only told me "You should call Bruce." Something was wrong. My heart knew it. And I could only imagine it was about my family. Nothing could prepare me for that phone call.

After ringing three times Bruce picked up the phone.  
"Bruce?" I asked, hearing only a sigh and silence.  
"It's good to hear your voice. Cat-- I... need to tell you something."

At this point, I felt tears running down my face. "What happened to you, Bruce? I know you disappeared to nowhere. What happened?"  
"Well, I was away. Far Far away. On another planet." Then he told me about Hella and Thor and Ragnarok. And how Loki saved Asgard. I could only smile for his not-selfish-behavior. He was really changed. He was finally who he really was. But my smile faded away immediately. "Something happened on that ship Cat. Thanos came after us. He killed... everyone on that ship. Heimdal sent me to Earth right before being killed. I don't know what happened Cat... I--"

"No... Fuck... What about Loki? Was he ok?" I asked impatiently.

"Cat... I don't know. When Heimdal sent me he was alive. But--after what I saw..." He was out of words. I knew he was trying to tell me something bad but part of me didn't want him to finish his sentence. "I-- I don't think Thanos is a merciful monster. He killed all the Asgardians. Only I, Loki and Thor were alive and... God... I don't think they made it."

And I was right. He shouldn't have ended his sentence. Everything around me was mute and in slow motion. My brain was quiet. I don't think the information Bruce just gave me is yet being processed by my brain. No tears were running down my face, even though I felt my heart ripped out my chest. I must have been frozen some time as Bruce and Nat were both calling me back to Earth.  
"Cat. Please say something. I'm sorry to tell you this. But I had to prepare you. Thanos is coming. And we need to do something. Now." Bruce said with a very worried voice.

I just nodded to him and remained quiet and empty-headed. I know I should just cry my brains out or something, but I didn't even have the strength to form a tear. _Thanos_. The name floating inside my head, my fist clenching, rage building up. I could tear him apart right there if he just showed up in front of me.

But my thoughts were interrupted by huge noises outside. Guns, screams, hell. 

I looked outside the window and that's when I saw it. He just showed up.


	25. Chapter 25

I don't how to describe it but everything around me was deadly. I went outside to help to fight against these shitty aliens creatures that were invading Wakanda but I could never, and I mean never, let my guard down. Any distraction would mean death. Not that I minded though. Loki is probably dead, so everything I lived for was gone. How could I continue my miserable life without Loki's love, knowing what I lost? I couldn't. No way. I already lost too many things. I'm done.

 _Thanos_ just kept floating in my head. Every time I cut the neck of an alien, every time I blew any alien into tiny little pieces (Yeah, my magic improved so much, thanks to Loki and his amazing and dangerous book), I got closer to Thanos. I needed to get close to him and to ask him what has he done to Loki. I just had to. And if I die, I would have my chance to avenge him and Asgard.

So I ran. And killed. And screamed.

I finally stopped when I came across the same female alien that I had previously encountered when we saved Vision and Wanda. She was fighting against Wanda but Wanda was losing, I don't think she would handle alone anymore so I just screamed for Nat and Okoye for help and ran to Wanda. Shit was about to get ugly as three of us fought against her. Even though she was outnumbered she fought harder than we could. She was indeed strong and she went first for Black Widow, who has joined her sticks into a full staff. She blocks Proxima's blow with an electrical crackle while Okoye runs around the slope to also attack from the front as I did.

Nat splits her staff back into a pair of sticks to block the alien's sword blows and finally knocks it from her hand. But the alien triggered an arm-blade from her left-arm armor and tried to stab Natasha, who barely manages to block the blade with her crossed sticks. As the edge starts to dig into Nat's neck anyway, my energy spell grabs the alien and tosses her into the air right into the path of a huge alien device with rolling blades that was passing by. Her blood just went all over the place and Nat was its Victim.  
"That was really gross." She said and held a hand for her to get up.

That's when I finally saw a beam of light falling down from the sky and Thor showed up right in the middle of the fight, holding an ax and looking all mighty as he is... and what the hell is that? He was caring... a Racoon?... An armed Racoon? Could this day be any weirder? Anyway, seeing Thor gave me new hope. If he's alive, there must be a great chance of Loki being alive too. But where the hell was he?

Thor was already kicking ass and he aimed for the huge alien spaceship standing far away from us, making it explode and fall on the ground.

We ran to Steve's side, in the middle of the forest, killing more deadly aliens (of course). But once we got there something was off. I felt the strange cold breeze waving my hair, everything went silent and frozen. My heart twitched inside me my head hurt like hell and in that moment I knew it... The space stone was there, along with Thanos. I could sense it. Steve went to my side as he saw me grabbing my aching head. The only thing I could manage to say was: "He's here". And then there was a point of light and energy growing right in front of us until Thanos passed by the portal and showed up right in front of us.

I cannot describe how it felt, but it was like you're seeing death itself right in front of you. I mean, looking into his eyes I could only see power and grief? There's certainly pain there, but none of it mattered as anyone who tried to attack him is immediately tossed through the hair. Steve got up again and faced Thanos, punching him in the gut and chin. Thanos tried to punch Steve but he grabbed it briefly and I could see Thanos impressed with his strength and will to fight but he finally slammed a fist, knowing him down. 

I was still on the floor, head hurting like hell, vision in a blur when I saw him going in Wanda and Vision's direction. She was destroying Vision's mind stone and defending herself from Thanos with a beam of scarlet energy against him. Finally, the mind's stone blows and sent a huge wave of energy knocking them both down. But do not celebrate, Thanos activates the Time Stone and reverses the Mind Stone's destruction to restore Vision back alive and a bead of yellow light starts gathering in on itself and growing in size, solidifying into an intact and conscious Vision when Thanos finally ripped off the stone, killing Vision all again.

Finally, Thanos has the six stones and he was contemplating it.  
"Why? Why are-- you doing this?" I finally asked. He looked at me, his expression forming a soft smile. "What have you done to Loki?" I got up, dizzy and ready for a fight and Thanos looked almost impressed.  
"Loki? Odinson?" He asked. "I snapped his neck. Why do you care?"

I widened my eyes in terror and finally, I let tears falling down my face, fists clenching, screaming and finally running in Thanos direction. He tried to punch me before I got there but I manage to dodge him and kick him on his neck. His knees give in thanks to my energy blast against them and one of them was on the ground. I put my arm around his neck and tightened the grip. I knew it wasn't doing much to him but somehow he was letting me be in control.  
"Is it love that I see?" He finally said.  
"How do you see something that you know nothing about?" I asked, tears falling down of my face and falling in Thanos' head. "Why did you do it?"  
"He made his death wish the moment he tried to kill me after swearing his undying fidelity." He spits out and I tightened the grip even more. For a moment I thought I heard his breathing switch, but he was still unaffected.  
"You don't deserve the air you breathe. You don't deserve life." I cried even more.  
"You know I'll kill you after this fight. I could kill you right now." He finally grabbed my arm that was around his neck and knocked me down to the floor.

I immediately got up, feeling brave enough to say. "You already did kill me when you hurt Loki. What difference does it make? Do it." I closed my eyes and prepared myself to be killed by his gauntlet. In my head, I could only see Loki. I could feel his touch in my skin. His kisses on my neck. I could see his eyes penetrating mine as he says he loves me. And I finally smiled, letting fall down my last tear.

Thanos hesitated, watching me smile. He didn't understand why I was acting that way, but he would certainly not lose the opportunity to kill someone who's standing on his way to universe' salvation. So he just lifts his glove in the hair and prepared to make the final blow on me but a massive bolt of lightning strikes him, digging him into the ground and grinding him back for meters. 

Thor has arrived just in time, eyes glowing with power and holding the Stormbreaker. The God of Thunder pauses his attack, reverses his position, raises Stormbreaker above his head and throws it and it slams right into Thanos' chest. Then he approached Thanos, pushed the Stormbreaker into Thanos' chest a bit more and told him: "I told you. You'd die for that!"

What he didn't expect was Thanos reacting, telling him he should have killed him by throwing it to the head instead, and finally, Thanos snapped his fingers and everything stayed still. The gauntlet was destroyed, smoldering and a portal opened right behind Thanos, sucking him in and disappearing just like that.

I couldn't understand what was happening. Even after what happened next I couldn't understand it.

All of them. Randomly, into dust.

And I just stand there, like everyone else, waiting for my turn. But it didn't happen. 

I was in one piece. 

Except for my heart. It died along with Loki.


End file.
